So after about one year of living in my apartment in Downtown LA, I’m moving. After staying in one place for about 10 years in San Pedro, I’m now going to be packing up my things and moving to a brand new place. I’ll be moving…

Down the hall and around the corner.

Yes, I’m not even moving floors. I’m just getting a bigger place with more closet space. So I’ll be going from 824 square feet to 1057 square feet, and instead of a courtyard view I’ll be facing the street. You know what that means: I’ll be flashing a lot more people.

As for leaving Los Angeles, I don’t think so. If you search on YouTube, you can see a whole list of whiny-ass bitches talk about leaving the city. For the most part, they were mere transplants to begin with, so goodbye! You were only clogging up our freeways and being the sort of person you bitch about in your videos: opportunistic social-ladder climbers with fake personalities and even faker bodies.

Being born here and having lived here since I was eight-years old (with a four-year escape to Santa Barbara,) what these people see in LA is not what I see in LA. LA is a tough place, sure. All big cities are tough. All big cities are expensive and overpriced. Where the fuck are you going to go? New York? Boston? Chicago? And don’t tell me Austin because it’s not even in the top 20 metropolitan areas in populations in the United States.

Most of these people need to admit it: they couldn’t handle living in a big city. They couldn’t make it in what they were hoping to make it in when they originally moved out here and decided it would be easier to live while working as a restaurant server in Nebraska than in Los Angeles.

Whatever. Watch me in a year move to Montana. HAHA!

I got home Saturday night, and there was a strange feeling I had: I was so happy to be home.

When I lived in San Pedro, I did not love the place. It was cheap as all hell which is why I stayed there for as long as I did, but I did not love it even though it was the same apartment I grew up in. But as I stepped out the elevator, walked down the hall and through my door, I smiled and thought: I really love where I live.

Not to say this was a bad vacation. It was very peaceful and picturesque just as I expected. Perhaps the biggest disappointment was that the weather was too nice — I wanted to experience some bad Montana weather that would make my fingers fall off from frostbite. The highs got up to 40F, the lows dipped barely below freezing and there was maybe a little dusting of snow during the middle of one night.

I mean we did have a sloppy-ass coup attempt that occurred during my vacation which did bring things down a little. I don’t know.

Well now that the work week has gone on, life has returned as normal. Well, at least we have a three-day weekend.

Well this has been a shitshow, hasn’t it? It’s really easy to bitch about what happened this year. Low hanging fruit. But rather than focus on that, here are some good things that happened this year.

• I was forced to move out of my San Pedro apartment and moved into a place in Downtown LA. Fortunately I was given a buyout.
• I basically spent June in bed. I was prescribed Lexapro, and now I feel a lot better. Amazingly enough this is the first time ever I’ve been prescribed antidepressants (although I probably should have been on them a long time ago.)
• Learned working from home is just as productive as working in an office. So fuck going into the office. No more!
• Went to Montana in October and fell in love with the place.
• Started listening to music again. No. REALLY listening to music.

Here are some things I’ll be working on in 2021:

• Montana vacation starting tomorrow, actually. My boss is going on maternity leave in February, so I’ve got to take the vacay when I can.
• Be healthier overall.
• Move. I’m actually going to move within the same apartment building, but I would like to have more closet space.
• Better clothes. I used to consider myself a bit fashionable. What the fuck happened to me?
• Maybe start creating music? I’ve never been much for writing music. Maybe I’ll remedy that this year.
• Once travel restrictions lift, get my ass over to Berlin. And have sex. Tons of sex. If I don’t get an STD, I will have done things incorrectly. Shit, I want a fucking prolapsed anus. If I’m not sitting on a rosebud, 2021 will be a huge bust.

I’m not one to whine about how awful 2020 was and have any sort of naïve illusions that 2021 will automatically be a better year. Hell, I’m not expecting to be in a post-COVID world until deep into next autumn. I guess with age comes wisdom, and since I’ll be turning the ripe old age of 42 in March, I will have the answers to all of life’s questions? Hm. Whatever.

I just realized that holy shit, Christmas is in 10 days. This week is the last full business week of the year (although I am taking Friday off.) Next week is Christmas and the following week is New Year’s.

Which means that when the calendar turns to 2021, my ass will be back in Montana. I’ll be in a different cabin this time closer to the Montana-Idaho border, but this cabin has a hot tub. My boss is going on maternity leave at the end of January, so I see it as the only opportunity for a true vacation until Labor Day. And who knows, by then we can maybe travel overseas and I won’t have to travel to remote areas in their way way way offseason to prevent the chances of coming down with this damn virus.

Speak of, damn I’m horny. I’ve been having dreams of making out with guys lately. I’m telling you, the second after I get the second shot of the vaccination, I’m going on a fucking orgy.

I had written some half-cooked bullshit about Trump, his calls of voter fraud and how unoriginal it is. But fuck it. I really didn’t care too much anyhow. I’ve just been marveling at what lows he and the RepubliKKKan party would crawl to in order to kill democracy. Besides, today an institution used to keep slavery intact voted to give Joe Biden the presidency. And while CNN and MSNBC both talked about watching democracy in action, I wonder how they didn’t choke with laughter on their own words since the electoral college is the furthest thing from a democracy. Makes me sort of glad to be a college dropout.

But today we also got the first vaccines into the arms of Americans. So I guess 276 days since I started working from home, there is some hope for the future. I guess the question is whether 2021 will be okay and whether I can travel overseas again. By 2022 definitely unless some other calamity comes and affects us all.

It’s one thing to be tired, like you can’t handle the weariness of being awake. That your limbs and brain need to sit down somewhere and regroup. That you yawn a few times an hour.

But I’m flat out sleepy. Like sleeping all night, waking up in the morning and sleeping while having my coffee, sleeping while on lunch break, sleeping once I get off of work, sleeping after dinner. Or like on Saturday where I was basically sleeping the whole day. I don’t know if it’s the lack of daylight or the wonders of depression, but here I am just wanting to sleep.

One thing I have been doing in the few minutes when I am fully conscious is online shopping. My whole apartment smells fruity and herby and delicious because my $95 order from Lush came yesterday. I bought both shower and bath bombs and a salt scrub. Y’all might not be able to smell me, but at least when I sniff myself I’ll be fabulous with a capital F-A-G.