I might be a little obsessed with this.

Only one image from last night’s Dodgers 5-0 loss to the Angels remains seared in my mind today. It wasn’t the Dodgers first inning implosion. It wasn’t Yasiel Puig’s fingerwag to Erick Aybar in the sixth inning. It wasn’t Mike Trout’s fingerwag to Yasiel Puig in the seventh inning.

It was this. When Zack Greinke flew out to right field to end the second inning with the bases loaded, I could have sworn I saw Angels starter Garrett Richards reach out as their paths crossed and give Greinke a dick tap. As these images were rolling live before my eyes on the Fox Sports West (aka Angels) broadcast, that’s the only thing my brain processed: OH MY WORD, RICHARDS DICK-TAPPED GREINKE!!!

Over the last several years the more I covered professional athletes, the less I understood them. The majority of them are stuck in an arrested adolescence, a state where their need to prove their masculinity takes homoerotic tones long past their teenage years (see: every Greg Maddux story).

I’m sure the majority of heterosexual men do not greet each other with a dick tap. At least, I have not seen it done in my presence. I’m also pretty sure the only time homosexual men greet each other as such is to feel out the hardon and announce their intention to fuck. I think. I’m such a hermit and feel I’m a little out of touch with life outside.

Here are some questions.

1. Is the dick-tap a common form of greeting for heterosexuals?
2. What other homoerotic acts to heterosexual professional athletes engage with one another? I know about the jersey shredding after walk-off hits. But is there more subversive acts like piss drinking? Spitting in each other’s mouths?
3. Why have gay men not use the dick-tap regularly as a salutation?
4. Can I go up to guys and dick-tap them?

I really think this opens up a whole new world for me.

Freeway Series, Freeway Series, yadda yadda yadda. Of course there are those who wonder if this is the year we will see a Freeway Series World Series considering both teams are playing well. We call these people “fools”.

Since the Angels started play in 1961, only three times have both the Dodgers and Angels made the playoffs in the same season: 2004, 2008 and 2009. And only in 2009 did both teams make their respective League Championship Series. So excuse me if I’m not brimming with anticipation for the Freeway World Series.

What is giving me a hardon, however, is the centerfielder duel between Mike Trout and Yasiel Puig. Hell, if a porn showed up in my mailbox with the two of them going at it all nasty, that would indeed give me a hardon and then some.

Too bad all of that pent up anticipation amounted to a whole bunch of nothing thanks to the top of the first inning. Zack Greinke made 21 pitches in that dubious half-inning giving up a single and two doubles to Kole Calhoun, Mike Trout and Albert Pujols that scored two. Then Hanley Ramirez made a horrific throw to first base on Howie Kendrick’s grounder that allowed Erick Aybar to score the third run. A David Freese single brought in Kendrick, and there it was: a 4-0 Angels lead.

After a bottom second when Angels starter Garrett Richards got out of a bases-loaded jam unscathed, the game got back on the rails to what everyone expected it to be: a well-pitched game. Well, except for the hanging changeup Greinke grooved to Josh Hamilton in the sixth inning to give the Angels the 5-0 lead.

Garrett Richards tossed his first career complete game shutout making it still baffling that he did not make the All Star Game.

So the showdown between the two centerfielders? Trout got the double in the first inning. Neither player had to make any superlative play in the field although Trout was lustfully booed after tracking down fly balls from A.J. Ellis and Greinke in the fifth inning. But the duelling Mutombo fingerwags were the real payoff.

In the sixth inning with Erick Aybar on first base, David Freese hit a fly ball to center for the second out. Puig caught the ball and threw over to first base to make sure Aybar didn’t tag up then did the Mutombo fingerwag at Aybar.

In the seventh inning Pujols took second base after Josh Hamilton flied out to center. Trout, in the dugout, returned the Mutombo fingerwag. See? A little bit of fun to break the monotony of this 5-0 game.

With a Hector Santiago-Clayton Kershaw duel tomorrow, we can only hope for a more compelling game. Please.

some people think hiking in palos verdes is a breeze. and for the most part it’s true. but there are places where it can get to be a bit strenuous, especially in the middle of the summer.

while going up the ishibashi trail at the portuguese bend preserve, this girl in her early 20s and in shape had to stop. her friends, a boy and girl also in their 20s, looked like they didn’t know what to do. the boy had his shirt off, so i told him to drape her head with the shirt to give her some sort of shade. they had water, so i didn’t need to donate that. they found some candy so she could get some sugar in her system.

they also had a phone so if things got really dire they could call for help. so i moved along. apparently they were a part of a bigger group who decided to do some outdoor exploring.

and it made me feel a little better than my fat ass was in decent enough shape to do this hike.

Vin Scully is returning to the Dodgers broadcast booth next season, and hopefully more than 30% of Angelenos will be able to listen to him on SportsNetLA.

I have been fortunate to have been at Dodger Stadium for some special moments. When Nomar Garciaparra hit the walkoff home run in the 10th inning on Sept. 18, 2006 to give the Dodgers an 11-10 win over the San Diego Padres. When Jonathan Broxton closed a 3-1 win over the Chicago Cubs in the 2008 NL Divisional Series for the Dodgers first postseason series win since the 1988 World Series.

But none of those moments came close to what was heard in the middle of the second inning after Josh Beckett got BJ Upton to strike out swinging to end the top of the second.

The Dodgers aired a “breaking news” video where Hyun-Jin Ryu announced in Korean that the 86-year old Vin Scully is returning for 2015, his 66th season. Then Yasiel Puig announced the same in Spanish which got some in the crowd excited. Then Justin Turner translated for everyone else, and what happened was a couple minutes of a sustained standing ovation.

“It is very difficult to say goodbye,” said Scully in a statement. “God willing, I will be back next year. Over the years I have been blessed to have so many friends, including those that sit in the stands and listen, as well as those at home who listen and watch. It is just too hard to say goodbye to all these friends. Naturally there will come a time when I will have to say goodbye, but I’ve soul-searched and this is not the time.”

There are very few times when Dodger Stadium shakes because of the crowd, and it’s a near certainty that its structural integrity will be tested when Vin is honored. I wasn’t there tonight, but I can only imagine how it was on Vin Scully microphone giveaway night.

Now, as to whether anyone will be able to tune into Vin, that’s another question. Time Warner has recently agreed to binding arbitration after six local congressmen asked them and other local television providers to do so. Directv has refused. It’s unknown whether Time Warner’s olive branch is merely a PR move. But knowing the reputation of content providers and congressman, it’s safe to keep the bullshit meters up.

Of course, all of this serves to bury what a poorly pitched game this 8-4 Dodger victory over the Atlanta Braves was. Dodger fans tend to be spoiled with pitching. For the last two seasons now we see Clayton Kershaw, Zack Greinke and Hyun-Jin Ryu dismantling the opposition. See what they did in San Francisco to bring the Dodgers from 1 1/2 games behind the Giants to 1 1/2 games ahead of the Giants by Sunday.

So when Josh Beckett made 95 pitches through four innings, it was a shock to the senses. He made 37 pitches in the third inning alone, 26 of which came after he gave up a two-run homer to Freddie Freeman to give the Braves the 3-2 lead.

It’s clear Beckett is still adjusting with life after his dominant fireball-dealing days, no-hitter notwithstanding. His fastball has tons of movement hitting the gun as high as 92 mph which is hopeful. His problem is control which is leaving much to be desired. But as spoiled Dodger fans we should get over it. It could be a lot worse. Brett. Tomko. Mark. Hendrickson. Jason. Schmidt.

But if the offense can continue the pace they’re on, then that should ease the Beckett-Dan Haren blues. Matt Kemp golfed two home runs to the opposite field bringing back memories of his 2011 season. Meanwhile Yasiel Puig was a home run short of a natural cycle going 4-for-5 scoring two runs. And for the first time this season the Dodgers have a four-game win streak.

With the Giants losing to the Pirates 3-1, the Dodgers now have a three-game lead in the division. And to top it off, their 60-47 record leads the National League.

even when it gets over 90f.

yesterday was a busy day of me getting my car diagnosed and summarily fixed. after leaving my car to get a new water pump installed and walking back to the manse, i saw this music doll orphaned on the sidewalk. when i was little we had a couple of these dolls in our living room. after you wind up these dolls, the head rotates slowly as a music box plays “it’s a small world” or some other song of that ilk.

i never realized how spooky these things actually looked like, so i just left it right where it was. when i walked back to pick up my car about four hours later, it was gone. i wonder if it is possessed by some evil child. who knows?

fridays are acupuncture day, and today i asked him to take out blood higher up on my leg rather than just on the foot. he obliged and was surprised at how much of the coagulated blood came out. as gruesome and barbaric as it might seem, my foot and ankle are a lot better.

i got through jack womack’s first novel ambient the other day. it’s one of those dystopian cyberpunkish novels that i’d been meaning to read since the late 90s. there were some awfully great romantic lines.

I wished we could hug until we’d crushed each other’s bones.

“You look good enough to beat,” she said, winking.

Here is something religous, also:

The Q documents-discovered by a team of Israeli and American archaeologists-were the long-lost original gospels. They detailed how Jesus, a trusting sort, was hired by Pilate to spread confusion among warring Jewish factions; how Judas found out and so betrayed his betrayer; how Jesus, pulled from the cross in time’s nick by those wishing to use the affair for their own effect, recovered and was by accident seen by his horrified followers; how some of his followers were so horrified that they wished to kill him-again; how Jesus escaped with his wife, Mary Magdalene; how he died, at an advanced age, somewhere far from Gethsemane. You can infer the rest.

i do sometimes wonder what the world would be like if we fagolas grabbed it by the balls and took over. surely we can’t fuck things up any worse than the fucking breeders we have in charge right now.

i woke up this morning to the news that a malaysia airlines flight with 280 passengers and 15 crew member were shot down by russian separatists in eastern ukraine. maybe. regardless, all 295 were killed. there are reports that armed russian separatists won’t let anyone near the crash site. there are reports that the airspace was open. there are reports that the airspace is closed.

after my run, saw the news that israel was going to begin a ground invasion of gaza. so perhaps israel is after more than killing four kids on a beach in gaza? then again i could just be spreading hamas propaganda.

the problem i have with all of this is that i have no idea what information to believe. everything i wrote could be just mere bullshit used to anger one side of the issue to the point of violence.

i want to take all of the world leaders and lock them in a room and tell them to deal with their bullshit. don’t think about restitution, debt, money or anything like that. just deal with the bullshit we are seeing or just die in the room.

not helping my mood is hearing elaine stritch died. and sometimes i realize how futile everything i described above is when we’re just going to be a dead sack of bones and blood anyhow. so fuck it, right?

did the ocean trails/trump trails/whatever-the-fuck-its-name-is which i really enjoy. sometimes there are cute guys without their shirts. today no such luck though. i think there are tons of fishies just off the shore because the pelicans and the sea gulls were flying very low skimming the water. the dark stuff in the water you see above aren’t schools of fish. they’re kelp beds. mmmm! seaweed.

i didn’t watch nor care about the all star game yesterday, but i guess they said a couple of words about glenn burke, the former dodger and athletic from the 70s and 80s and supposed creator of the high-five. yes, he was gay and al campanis and that shitbag turned manager turned mascot tommy lasorda didn’t like that jettisoning him to oakland because of it. so after soccer, the nba and the nfl got an openly gay player, baseball is finally getting around to confronting their own homophobic past.

i also heard the broadcast didn’t mention tony gwynn. very fucking classy.

speaking of circle jerks, it looks like the espys are tonight. anyone who cares about this should be automatically sterilized.

i still go once a week for acupuncture on my left foot. as you can see, they bleed me which sounds barbaric but it helps. i’m back doing my little hikes as before which is good.

while out on the trails today, several drops of sky water hit me on the noggin. i’m told that the monsoonal moisture that usually hits arizona and new mexico has seeped its way to california. so there it was, the first bits of sky water seen since march 2.

just purchased the domain name for the podcast, thebandjpodcast.com. brendan and i will need to adjust its bits and dangles. i guess i should start by creating a twitter and facebook account for it?