* The Dodgers will simulcast the final six games of the season on over-the-air channel KDOC Ch. 56. The new Dodger channel SportsNetLA has been met with a carriage dispute — the only major cable or satellite carrier offering the channel is Time Warner Cable. Only 30% of LA have been able to watch games that were not carried by ESPN, Fox or Fox Sports 1. So everyone in LA who wants to can watch the final series against the Giants and Rockies can do so.

It makes me wonder: how much is KDOC is paying for these six games, and how much are they charging advertisers for 30-second spots?

* Adrian Peterson issued an apology today. After saying that he didn’t intend to hurt his four-year old son,

But deep in my heart I have always believed I could have been one of those kids that was lost in the streets without the discipline instilled in me by my parents and other relatives. I have always believed that the way my parents disciplined me has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man. I love my son and I will continue to become a better parent and learn from any mistakes I ever make.

So if you parents were racists fucks but you became a success story, then it makes it a-ok for you to be a racist shit yourself? Fuck you Adrian Peterson. Not only did you leave welts and blood and bruises on your FOUR-YEAR OLD son’s legs, butt and lower back, you also got him on the scrotum.

And the Vikings reinstated him today, so fuck the Vikings, too.

* This is quite a happy story about a photograph found on 9/11 and the search for the owner.

* Christy Mack was damn near killed by her apparently needledick ex-boyfriend, an MMA fighter who styled himself as the “War Machine”. Here she is updating her recovery from a couple of days after the attack until last night. As she posted in the caption of this Instagram photo:

2 days, 2 weeks, 4 weeks, and last night. I’ve had several dentist visits to make eating more comfortable and make my smile look more normal. I still have a few more dental visits to go. I’ve had my eyes checked out and made aware that I’m very lucky to have my vision where it is, since the muscle is tethered by the fragments from the blowout fracture in my left eye. My multiple nose fractures will be fixed in the next couple of months. While they’re fairly symmetrical, my nose is shifted on the inside and out causing breathing issues. (I also make everyone feel how my bone sticks out on the left side because it feels so weird.) My top lip will regain movement in less than 6 months… looking forward to using straws again. My liver seems to be alright. I was admitted back to the hospital shortly after I was released the first time for some minor treatment, but I did not have to have surgery. While my face is starting to look decent again from the swelling going down, it is still not my own. Cutting what was left of my hair off, and losing 15 lbs(it’s a lot when you’re 5’1″) made me feel even further away from myself. It’s hard to look in the mirror every day and see someone you do not know. After having makeup done and dressing up for yesterday’s charity event, I felt much better about how I look now. It made me feel more normal, and beautiful for the first time in a very long time. The event that I went to was for Face Forward. A non profit charity that funds surgeries for women and children that have been in horrible situations that require them to have reconstructive surgery. They are not funding me, my surgeries are being donated by other doctors. I met many wonderful people and look forward to working more with them in the future.

As I keep track of this, I’m really starting to question this more and more. Again, here’s the methodology. If a team beats a FBS team it gets a point. A win against a Big 5 Conference team (ACC, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-12, SEC) gets another point. A “dominant” win gets another point. Playing on the road gets a point. A loss gets a negative point. A loss against a FCS team gets a negative point. Neutral site win only gets a 1/2 point. Neutral site loss gets -1/2 point.

I’m doing this because I’m tired of the subjectivity of the polls and as an experiment to see how close a mostly unbiased poll would match up against these polls. It’s still early, and some of the results have been strange. The top four teams this week are BYU, UCLA, Notre Dame and Penn State. Really? I hardly think these four teams will be the ones in the playoffs.

I know these numbers will play out as these teams start conference play. I’m hoping they start to look more like what I perceive reality to be. I mean, how crazy is it that the only SEC teams represented in the top “five” are Mississippi State and Texas A&M?

And speaking of UCLA, just what do we make of this team? They barely got through Virginia (who actually turns out to be halfway decent) and Memphis with Brett Hundley at quarterback. They lose him in the first quarter with an elbow injury, and somehow that galvanized the entire team to realize the couldn’t rely on Hundley and play like they should have all along. UCLA beat a very unimpressive Texas team 20-17, but somehow this win impressed me the most. Also I thought it was pretty sweet to see Jerry Neuheisel be lifted on his teammates shoulders after the victory. This was pretty cool, too:

I know UCLA probably won’t National Championship this season, but I don’t know if this is a really good team or a tediously mediocre team. I guess we’ll find out as they start playing conference opponents. Meanwhile, here’s the rankings:

1. BYU (7 points)
2. UCLA (6.5 points)
3. NOTRE DAME (6 points)
4. PENN STATE (5.5 points)
5. ARIZONA STATE (5 points)
MISSISSIPPI STATE
NC STATE
NORTHERN ILLINOIS – really?!!!!
OKLAHOMA
PITT
TEXAS A&M
USC

i had to turn off espn and any sort of news outlet. just to have something playing in the background that could help my anger from spilling over, i tuned my television to the weather channel.

there has yet to be confirmation, but adrian peterson will reportedly be indicted on charges for beating his four-year old son with a switch. the boy was left with cuts and bruises on his legs, lower back and butt from the beating which peterson told authorities as a normal spanking.

so a four year old got a 6’1″, 215-pound 29-year old NFL running back so mad, the only recourse was to beat him to the point of bleeding? really? what can a four-year old do that is so wrong that he, in the eyes of his father, DESERVES to be beaten to the point of bleeding?

i have already seen people say that peterson should be free to “discipline his child” as he sees fit, that the reason our society and children are so out of control is because parents don’t whoop their children anymore, that because they were beaten as children it’s okay to beat their own children. spare the rod, spoil the child.

bullshit.

i still have so much anger towards family members who have beaten me as a kid. when i was little my mom would beat me with the metal handle end of a flyswatter if i brought home a test grade less than an “a” while telling me she would send me to an orphanage. as i got older and my mom left my dad, my uncle would assume the “father-figure” role in my life and he would punch me as i became a teenager including punching me in the head.

and, what probably pisses me off the most, being the eldest of all of my cousins, i was told to keep charge of them even though i was myself a kid. and, because i didn’t know any better, i would also hit my cousins until i realized how wrong it was by the time i was in eighth grade. i’m still racked with guilt for that. even though they’re all adults, seeing them brings all of that back up for me, and i get really mad. really mad at my uncle, my mom for teaching me that abuse was okay. that when you can’t control something, you just hit and yell and let the consequences be damned.

[i have to note i didn’t get it anywhere near as bad as some of my cousins which also fills me with guilt that i couldn’t shelter him from that.]

i don’t know if that’s why i am incapable of having a relationship. if that’s why i need to feel a bit of pain in order to feel truly satisfied from sex. if that’s why i do think of offing myself from time to time. if that’s why i’m so damaged.

but i’m sure it doesn’t help any.

and that’s why i saw red when i heard this story today. so fuck adrian peterson. fuck anyone who tries to defend his action. fuck the nfl. fuck my uncle and my mother. you don’t beat your child. period.

i really fucking hate the phrase “never forget” when used in conjunction with 9/11. that’s not to say i want to forget that day. i understand the need to remember what happened on that day. watching those two buildings come down before i even got to work is something i’ll never be able to shake.

and i don’t think many other people will be able to shake those images.

the “never forget” tagline is one of the more insulting ones i can think of to use on this day. it assumes that we are all imbeciles, that we will never remember what happened on this day in 2001, that we don’t understand the impact of what happened.

i was there. i remember. i remember feeling helpless, feeling helpless to what was going on, to the inevitable war to come because i knew that the only solution america had in mind was to blow shit up in some country far far away. little did i know it was going to entail this:

Section 2 – Authorization For Use of United States Armed Forces

(a) IN GENERAL- That the President is authorized to use all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons he determines planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, or harbored such organizations or persons, in order to prevent any future acts of international terrorism against the United States by such nations, organizations or persons.

that these words would still be used to justify bombing things in yemen even though we’ve never declared war against that country. that it will be used to justify the upcoming bombings in syria and iraq. sorry. justify isn’t the right word. it’s more like the president won’t have to go to congress in order to declare these little wars. but there it is.

it was at that point the american public begged congress and the president to toss away their civil liberties in order to feel safe. funny, i don’t feel any safer now than i did on 9/10/01.

“never forget”? whenever i think of the so-called wars we’re raging, i remember. whenever i have to go through some idiotic ineffective tsa checkpoint at an airport i remember. whenever i hear “god bless america” sung at a ballpark, i remember.

so don’t tell me to “never forget”. i don’t think i could even if i wanted to. just fuck off and have your own pity party in your own corner.

Man, did the Big Ten take a beating yesterday. Surprisingly enough, it was not because of its two new teams. Maryland surged in the fourth quarter to dispatch South Florida on the road, and Rutgers held on to the lead as Howard tried to surge back late in the game. Illinois needed a rally to beat the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers, and Minnesota held on to beat Middle Tennessee and Iowa came back to beat Ball State.

But we should have known how bad of a day it would be when Nebraska had a dog fight on their hands to unhusk McNeese State. Michigan State, Michigan and Ohio State had early season measuring stick games — the games that lets you know where your team stands in the whole scheme of things.

Michigan and Notre Dame was just a bad game for the Wolverines. The Catholics drubbed Michigan 31-0 — if only they were on the road they would have gotten all four points in the Napkin Rankings. I didn’t watch any of this game because, well fuck Notre Dame.

Now Michigan State going into Oregon was interesting, a brave bit of scheduling for the Spartans even when they made that decision several years ago. Maybe they were thinking Oregon and their really stupid uniforms would be dead by now? But they aren’t, and it made for a most thrilling game. It really looked like Sparty’s hitting was going to lead them to the win in the second quarter.

But after halftime the Ducks’ defense seemed to go back to basics, and it worked. Quarterback Marcus Mariota led his team to score the final 28 points of the game for the 46-27 win, and the Ducks showed they’re still a force to be reckoned with. But really, that’s not a loss for Sparty to bemoan. They actually lost to a good team.

I’m still wondering if I can say the same thing for Ohio State. I can’t say what Virginia Tech showed us on offense was all that impressive, but their defense was pretty remarkable. They look like they can at least hang with Florida State for a little while.

But the Buckeye offense looked like garbage. At home. Before over 100,000 folks at the Horseshoe. That was a shocking 35-21 loss, especially when the final seven points they scored were helped by a fumble by Hokie quarterback Michael Brewer on his 15-yard line early in the fourth quarter.

Actually that was the most surprising part of the game. It seemed that from that point when Ohio State tied the game at 21-21, they had finally found their footing, shook off the rust, whatever hackneyed cliche you want to use for this, and they would take control of the game. I figured the Buckeyes would score three more times in the quarter, and we’d look down on the ACC with a bemused smiling shake of the head.

But no. Brewer calmly took his team on a six-play, 65-yard touchdown drive to retake the lead. The Hokies defense kept rushing the passer, and the Buckeyes offensive line broke down. Now, instead of questioning the ACC, we are all questioning the Big Ten. Finally, after years of knowing the truth, the results have come to bear.

THE BIG TEN HAVE FINALLY SHOWED TO THE WORLD THAT THEY ARE GARBAGE. The rankings:

1. BYU (6 points)
2. USC (5 points)
3. NOTRE DAME (4 points)
TEXAS A&M
UCLA
6. OLE MISS (3.5 points)
7. ARIZONA (3 points)
AUBURN
CENTRAL MICHIGAN
KANSAS STATE
LOUISIANA-MONROE
MISSISSIPPI STATE
NORTHERN ILLINOIS
OKLAHOMA
PITT
RUTGERS
TEMPLE
VA TECH

i was on the toll lanes of the harbor freeway near usc just as they separate from the main part of the freeway and become the second level when i heard that joan rivers died. i cried.

after the fight with the writers union a couple of years ago, i stopped watching fashion police on e!, but it in no way diminished the way i viewed her. she’s a fighter and a trail blazer and somehow survived all the crap that life threw at her. well except for the last one.

it’s also a reminder that i have to get ready for my grandmother’s death. being with her everyday, i’m numb to seeing her deteriorate little by little every day. but joan’s death is a reminder to me that one day, suddenly, my grandmother will not wake up.

that’s not why i cried though. i will miss hearing joan rivers and watching her work. especially because it seemed like she was still plowing on.

and, now, i will continue to dread the day when i have to deal with my grandmother’s death.

Los Angeles Coliseum by Alex Ho, on Flickr

Covering games on Saturday nights, I would go home and find Bob Valvano on ESPN Radio for years. I think they moved him to a different time on weekends for some reason, but I thought of all the yakkers we’re accustomed to on the Four-Letter Network, he was among the more thoughtful and eloquent.

One of the best things he came up with was the Napkin Rankings. Rather than using strange algorithms on computers or even stranger tendencies of human nature, his rankings did their best to try and eliminate human nature. In a nutshell:

– Teams get 1 point for a win over a FBS team.
– Teams lose 1 point for a loss over a FBS team.
– Teams lose 2 points for a loss over a FCS team.
– Teams get 1 point for a win over a power-five conference (ACC, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-12, SEC).
– Teams get 1 point for playing away regardless of result.
– Teams get 1/2 point for a win on a neutral site.
– Teams lose 1/2 point for a loss on a neutral site.
– Teams get 1 points for a “dominant” win. A dominant win is usually 30 points or more, but it’s subjective. If it was a 10-point game with 4 minutes left before it became a 30-point game, it probably won’t qualify. If it’s a 40-point win over a win-less FBS team, it most likely won’t qualify. Wins against any FCS team are not dominant.

A team can get a maximum of four points in one week. Like I said, it eliminates most of the subjectivity we’re used to seeing in rankings with the big exception of the dominant win factor. With that said, here are the rankings after Week 1. Ties are listed in alphabetical order.

1. Temple (4 points)
1. Texas A&M
3. Ohio State (3 points)
3. Rutgers
3. UCLA
6. Auburn (2 points)
6. Baylor
6. Boston College
6. BYU
6. California
6. Georgia
6. Louisiana-Monroe
6. Marshall
6. Mississippi State
6. Ohio
6. USC
6. UTEP
6. UTSA
6. Washington

I’m almost certain that Temple will most likely not be at the top of the rankings all season. Nor do I think Louisiana-Monroe will be much of a factor in the national championship debate. But it will be interesting to see how these rankings compare to our perceptions and to which teams actually make it to the two-game playoff.

because it’s a holiday and i knew traffic through the westside on the 405 wouldn’t be bad, i decided to head over to the san vicente mountain park and go down the mandeville canyon fire road. just over two hours, just over six miles and a more even all-over tan. well, except from my hips to right above my knee. i’m telling you, if i could hike nude i would.

it’s been a pretty eventful weekend, really. hung out with cousins saturday night, hung out with friends last night.

Thanks to writing sports on LAist for years and years and years, I became more and more of a dispassionate fan of sports teams if a fan at all. Eight months on, I’m getting back into it. Example: Chelsea FC.

I’ve been a fan of them for several years now. With what a great job NBC Sports has done in covering the Premier League, I decided to be a more hardcore fan of the Blues. It damn near killed me today.

With Chelsea travelling to Goodison, I figured it would be a tight first half with Chelsea pulling it out in the end as Everton waned. That’s sort of been the modus operandi for both teams. That was most definitely not how this one played out.

Just 34 seconds in, Diego Costa puts Chelsea on top. And just a couple of minutes later, Branislav Ivanovic made it a 2-0 lead. Hell, Chelsea’s got this match, got the three points and I can focus on which college football games I want to watch. But then Kevin Mirallas scored right before stoppage time in the first half to cut the Chelsea lead in half, and that’s when the anxiety began.

For years, I was dismissive of how irrational fans can be sometimes. Sure games can go back and forth, but it’s not life or death especially in the first three games of a 38-game season. But the second half of this game happened, and I damn near lost it.

This game had the appearance of being a very crucial game because Manchester City had just lost at home 1-0 to Stoke City. Chelsea could put some distance with three points here. As an unbiased observer, that’s ridiculous. It’s only the third game. There’s tons of time for City to make up ground. Chelsea isn’t going to win the league in the first month.

I felt better seeing Eden Hazard’s shot go off Seamus Coleman’s foot for an own-goal in the 67th minute. But two minutes later there was Steven Naismith to make it a one-goal game again. It was almost like I was watching a Kings game.

What was also disconcerting was how much possession Everton had. Chelsea couldn’t get the action out of their end. When Nemanja Matic scored in the 74th minute, yet again I thought Chelsea had the match in hand.

But Everton put Samuel Eto’o in the game, the same Eto’o who had nine league goals for Chelsea last year, and three minutes later he made it a 4-3 game. In a matter of nine minutes it went from a 2-1 game to a 4-3 game.

Matic showed some nifty footwork minutes later dishing the ball to Ramires for yet another two-goal lead in 77th minute. But still it wasn’t easy to watch. My heart was pounding. I could feel brain vessels pulsing and struggling to keep my blood circulating properly. It’s a good thing I have lost some weight this year or else I would be in a gurney heading off to an emergency room as a drooling mess.

I could finally breathe and feel at ease when Costa bookended the game with a 90th minute goal.

This game really had everything. There were some bad calls going both ways. There was some bad blood, of course focused on Costa. Hell, there was Costa deciding to flop after getting carded — this is going to be a fun season by the way. There was a woodwork save.

So I’m sorry. I have relearned what it means to be a fan, to live and die with your team game after game. I damn near died today, but my Blues are at the top of the table for now. That’s all that matters, right?

today was supposed to be the peak of high surf generated from hurricane marie that’s sitting about 900 miles south of los angeles. i went to the cliffs to take a looksie, and even from 125 feet up they look quite impressive. they looked like 5-10 feet waves, and they certainly stirred up the sand on the coast.

all along the coast there were waves as high as 30 feet. what was once a category 5 hurricane is now only a category 1 with 75 mph winds. i wondered what it would be like if marie was stronger.

from there i took off to the forrestal reserve and did a 4-mile hike. and here are a few words of warning. now that i am not completely obese anymore, just really fat, i have now taken to hiking shirtless to even out the tan. yes, i’m getting to a point where i am a little more comfortable with my body. somewhat. i’m fine with the jiggle as i’m hiking, but on a normal walk i’m still hesitant. but i’m telling you, the farmer’s tan has got to go.