Female empowerment, a cautionary tale about the hubris of greed, a tawdry display of tits in all shapes and sizes, a fun frolic of spring break gone wrong.
Harmony Korine said in the press conference at the Toronto International Film Festival that he started the film with the idea of the girls on spring break robbing people and went from there. He also said that he tried to present the film as a painting without trying to shove a moral down our throats.
Natural Born Killers was made with hip-hop in mind — the movie itself was sampled and repeated over the soundtrack. Spring Breakers advances this idea almost 20 years later. This time it’s the hypnotic sounds of electronic music that underscores the lethargic drawl of the cast. “Spring break baby. Spring break forever.” It can get to be droll, but that’s the point.
What’s surprising is that there is hardly anything sexy about the film despite the breasts, breasts and more breasts. But then again I’m gay. Seeing bouncing boobs just gets me a bit dizzy, nothing more. Although I did find the scene where Alien (James Franco) fellating two guns as the most erotic moment of the film. It is also the tipping point of the movie where the girls take complete control.
Thanks to Amazon Prime, I’ve seen this movie three times in the last month. It’s always left me smiling. I mean, who can hate a movie that has Vanessa Hudgens proclaim, “Seeing all this money makes my pussy wet.”
But rather than going on bitching about it, let’s go a different direction. Early on in college a bunch of us would talk about the lineup for our fantasy festival. Over the years the lineups would have inevitably changed.
Needing a broad range of performers from headliners to smaller acts, to hip-hop to rock, to retro and reunions, I think here is a festival I would go see:
My Bloody Valentine
Front Line Assembly
Slayer
Kanye West
Unwound
PJ Harvey
Dinosaur Jr.
Bauhaus
Bjork
Aphex Twin
This isn’t a complete list, but I would probably go to see this. Looking at this list a second time, it’s looking more like a lineup more suited for a county fair circuit. Jeez I’m not getting any younger.
This is perhaps the best present I have received in a long while. It’s a picture of me underneath a Welcome to Texas road sign. This is on the border with Louisiana on the I-10 East in Orange, TX. Behind the Texas Welcome Center there is a bayou you can explore.
It documents perhaps the best two weeks of my life in a very long time. Best. Road. Trip. Ever!
Women with “virgin pregnancy” were twice as likely as other pregnant women to have signed a chastity pledge, with more than 30% reporting they had done so. Their parents, in turn, were more likely to say they had trouble discussing sex or birth control with their children, the survey showed.
And my first assumption was that they had really bad sex.
“See, you want to have sex with her. I just want to fuck her anal.”
Walking towards STAPLES Center from the south side, there are always teenage boys skateboarding. Usually they’re focused on skateboarding, making fun of each others follies and other nonsense, but I usually never hear their conversations. At least, usually their conversations don’t make any impressions with me.
But this one had me giggling. I actually had to stifle a laugh as I walked past them taking a break from the action on a planter. I thought it was a lovely holiday-themed conversation to have with friends, but it had me wondering.
Isn’t it easier to convince a girl to have vag secks rather than butt secks? Girls don’t have prostates, so when penises go up their bum there is no pleasure center for the penis to hit.
Then a friend with a protected Twitter account sent me this gem:
Wow.
I’ve heard of this phenomenon of girls preferring anal in order to keep their virginity. It’s not a foreign concept to me, but I thought it was more of an urban myth. But I talked to several heterosexual media folks last night about this, and they confirmed that this was true. One said it was mostly catholic girls who followed this practice. Figures.
Wow! Just fascinating. Straight people CAN be interesting after all!
But it does raise a very important question: does this make me a virgin?
Watched The Great Dictator and A Woman Under the Influence Saturday night.
Today I had a Santa Barbara reunion with Derrick, Skick, Staci, Kevin, Matthew, Antonia and Daniel. Skick and Derrick got me the candle shown above for Xmas. Ho-ho-how lovely I said.
1. Stop using religion as a refuge of your homophobia. The Bible doesn’t say that homosexuality is a sin any more than it says wearing blended fabric is a sin. If you don’t like gay people and don’t believe that we deserve equal rights, then you’re homophobic. You’re not religious. You’re not righteous. You just have hate in your heart.
So fuck you. Fuck the whole lot of yous. If you spout that sort of shit too close to me, I just might punch you in the throat. After I punch your throat, I just might take a big hot steaming shit in your mouth. Does that make me intolerant? You bet your damn bippy it does. Is it me impinging on your religious beliefs? No.
Fuck you cunts.
2. It’s a fucking reality show. Has culture devolved so much that we are taking our moral cues from a reality show?
I’ve never watched “Duck Dynasty”. I never want to watch “Duck Dynasty”. I don’t care about anyone on “Duck Dynasty”. I don’t even know what the fuck it’s about.
What the fuck do I care if someone on that show is a raging racist and homophobe? Why the fuck should anyone care if someone on that show is a raging racist and homophobe?
If you really care about changing this sort of discourse, do something productive about it. Find religious leaders who are not homophobic and give them a platform. Vote out the homophobic politicians. Be more visible.
3. Free Speech. I’m seeing a lot of liberal blogs saying that free speech doesn’t mean you deserve a television show, that free speech doesn’t protect you from getting fired. And they’re right.
So let’s get rid of this Duck guy. Let’s obliterate him.
But back in the 1960s, that’s not what these liberal activists were fighting for. College campuses across the country wanted open dialogues and all of that other nice stuff in their utopian wet dreams. Now they want to squash open discourse?
4. Culture Wars. I can’t help but notice this has become a war of crisp suits vs. white trash. There is a condescension from the “elite” dictating how the “everyday man” should live. So did you really think the stupid conservative and tea party fuckwits wouldn’t jump on that?
5. All of you are sniveling pussies. ALL of you.
Anytime something you don’t like comes up, you have to get on Facebook and Twitter and bitch about it. Kim Kardashian is a cancer. Kanye West is stupid. Duck Dynasty are racist.
All of your bitching does nothing but legitimize these people. (See the end of No. 2 for possible action plans.)
I understand that in writing this rant, I am being a bit of a hypocrite. But I never said I wasn’t a hypocrite.
6. Fuck political correctness. Political correctness in this country has become an Orwellian scourge. It’s made it so that no one can say anything for fear of becoming unemployable.
Sometimes we need this sort of shit to pop up to tell us that we still have a ways to go.
Look. There will always be homophobes, racists, rapists, misogynists etc. As much as we want to live in a peaceful loving world, it will never happen.
What this Duck guy said was wrong. His beliefs are reprehensible. I get it. A lot of people get it.
But the response to what he said has now turned him into a martyr for the right. It has legitimized his beliefs however radical they may be.
Since September I have been riveted to the television watching college football games. Just one fuck up can cost a team a chance at a national championship. From 9 am to midnight out here on the west coast, there’s nothing but football.
Who are we kidding? Almost all of these games minus the Cotton Bowl are shitty. ESPN owns a lot of these games, so they are desperate for people to watch them.
Below is my preview of all of the non-BCS bowl games. Have fun.
