jimmy

Today has been one of those unproductive days. I still have piles of papers on my desk and tons of filing to do. Right now I really don’t give a shit. I’ll pretend I’m Bush Jr. and sit on my ass jacking off.

All of the execs are gone until Monday, so that means it’s party time! Um… yeah.

This weekend, I’m going to hang my head in shame and purchase a cell phone. I’ve held out long enough, but I don’t think I can anymore. So off I go into the heart of evil. On a lighter note, my mommy is going to highlight my hair. I like my mommy especially since she owns a beauty supply store. My mommy loves me. (Ok. Now I’m regressing).

So there.

Ok. So I’m listening to a 5RC records comp now, and that’s all I’m hearing right now. I like pretentious experimental shit.

I was watching American Idol last night, and it struck me how gay it was. Now, I don’t know why I’m watching the show. I really don’t. But just the few times I’ve caught it, I’ve determined all of the guys on the show are queer; even the winner from the British show is queer. And they’re so nice and happy it’s annoying. See, I need to be on one of those shows just to fuck with people.

I still have my black nailpolish on my left thumb (since I was too lazy to do the remaining nine fingers). It completely slipped my mind to take it off before work. Oh well. So people are asking me the significance of it. I told one person it’s to mark my drinking of a virgin’s blood. I told my boss becuz it’s been up my ass all weekend. It’s funny how absolutely no one takes me seriously here at work.

It’s so hot I don’t have the motivation to do anything. I just want to go into those big refrigerators that you find in liquor stores and take a nap. When my mom used to own a liquor store, I would do just that. It always made me feel better. Except when I would come out of it. Since I used to wear glasses, they would always fog up. But since I wear contacts now that shouldn’t be much of a problem.

I found a stash of clothing on Saturday when I was getting ready to meet urbanemonkey. I sort of threw them aside since they were too small for me or made me look unappealing. I tried them on just for kicks Saturday night and they look nice!!!! Happy happy happy. So now I have to do laundry. Grrrrrrrr. And it’s soooo hot.

Did I happen to mention that it’s hot?

It is hotter than Pamela Anderson’s pussy here. Uy fucking vey. With everything circulating, it’s probably around 100 degrees not counting the humidity. I live in a fucking desert! Why the fuck is there humidity!!!

Other than that, the weekend has been productive. Friday night, I went out celebrating with lotusblossom and her boyfriend evildork. She just got a job teaching over in Silverlake. Actually the celebration was cut short becuz she was tired. Eh. Got to play with kitties (the only kind of pussies I’ll ever stroke) and watch the Game Show Network.

Saturday, Madelaine woke me up and invited me to go to the Fashion District in Downtown LA. We were walking around out there for six hours. I got a lovely Che Guevarra shirt with a caption that reads, “Hasta la victoria siempre!”. Since I can’t find a shirt with a hammer and sickle, this will do just fine for now.

Went out with urbanemonkey Saturday night and just talked politics most of the night. It’s refreshing to hear someone whose views are more to the center than mine.

Anyhow, I’m trying to keep things cool, but it’s almost next to impossible. Bleah.

Expert warns of dangers of the corporate psychopath
Call for screening to prevent scandals

Michael MacDonald
The Canadian Press

FLORIDA 2000 FRAUD BOMBSHELL
JEB CONCEDES G.O.P. STOLE 2000 ELECTION
President Gore Manfully Quiet
And Where Are The Whores?

I have made it to work today. I’m so proud of myself. Things are coming out solid, so I’m stoked. This morning, I was actually running up and down my apartment yelling, “I made real poop!” I now realize that I really do need a life. Also I’m pretty amazed that I was able to muster the energy to do that. I don’t think I can do a repeat performance.

So with all of this behind me, I am soooooooooooo hungry. My stomach says, “Feed me!!!!” Is it lunch time yet?

Due to my gastrointestinal riot, I called in sick to work. I am feeling much better today, but I decided not to test it. So I spent the day looking after two of my cousins, Sammy(5) and Kelly(4). Kids that age are so… well cute to the point of getting away with murder. If they had killed my downstairs neighbors, I would have just verbally reprimanded them and bought them Krispy Kreme donuts afterwards (cuz kids need ALL the sugar in the world).

So besides going to the bathroom every 2 hours to flush what lies in my colon, everything is fine. Actually my butthole is quite tender right now (it hasn’t seen this much action since my slut days). And I’m sure everyone here needed to know that.

Um… I’m wondering if I’ll be okay enough to get my tender ass to SB this weekend. I hope I hope I hope.