Today’s the Day – Sort Of

Everyone is excited across the country. Today the Supreme Court is hearing arguments for and against California’s Proposition 8 that defined marriage as being only between a man and a woman. People up and down Facebook are showing their support with the Human Rights Commission’s yellow equal sign logo sitting on a red background instead of its usual blue.

It’s a civil rights issue say those against Prop 8. It’s a sanctity of marriage issue say those for Prop 8. Or it’s a state’s rights issue say pro Prop 8-ers. Or it’s biological.

I think everyone’s missing the point. The thing that should be on trial is marriage itself.

I have made it perfectly clear I am 100% against marriage. If you want to be married in a church for religious reasons, fine. But the state should get out of the marriage business.

So what should couples do for all the sharing of benefits, hospital visitation and other legal issues involved in mortal cohabitation? They should do what gay people do already: sign up for a civil union.

Think about it. Divorces are messy enough as it is, so if you make entering a union a legal process in and of itself wouldn’t that make divorces a tad bit cleaner? Sure it takes the romance out of marriage, but if you marry out of love then you’re fucking stupid.

For years heterosexuals have fucked up and made a mockery of this so-called sacred institution of marriage. Why the hell do I want it?

But, you see, this is not a viewpoint heteronormative groups like the HRC or GLAAD want people to hear. They just want to sell the civil liberties aspect of this (half price with a product of equal or lesser value!) The fact that some gay people like myself have no desire to look like straight people, be happy like straight people, have sex like straight people, be monogamous like straight people is just too taboo. It makes gay people look too dangerous.

I am not and don’t want to be a heterosexual. I like having sex. I like not having a significant other. I like having the option of having multiple partners at one time, at being pissed on, at pissing on other guys, of being a sweaty mess in a room of guys while our climatic emissions crusts over on our bodies, down our throats.

Today sportswriter Buzz Bissinger wrote a personal on essay on GQ documenting his shopping addiction. In page five of the piece Bissinger adds about his sudden sexual identity crisis.

I feel sorry for him, even though he was one of those guys who denounced sports bloggers like me at any opportunity. He’s 58 years old, and he probably never had a chance to explore the fluidity of his sexuality when he was younger. Despite it being the sexy 1970s, sexual repression was still more pervasive than it is now.

My formative years was in the chaos that was the 1990s which was great for being a bit open about things. You like being fisted? Great! You like having weights tied to your scrotum while you have your nipples clamped? Congratulations.

Okay. Some of these things might still be taboo in the heterosexual community, but thank heavens I’m not in that community. The problem is with all of these uptight HRC-esque assimilationist pricks running around the gay community, these things are slowly becoming more and more taboo in the gay community also.

There is one thing I do agree about all of this nonsense: I believe gay people should have the same rights as straight people. When I’m at the supermarket, I want to be seen as just another American.

But I refuse to mainstream myself to assimilate into what white men want Americans to look like. And that is why I’m not jumping up and down in a tittle today.