This didn’t fit in with LAist stuff. It really is like Rivers Cuomo and Weezer were ahead of their time.

When “I’m Tired” came out in 1996, I wondered how anyone could be tired of sex. But I was 17 at the time, so of course I would think that.

But it looks like people in Japan have had it with sex and relationships according to The Guardian. I have to say that I completely identify.

The trouble of trimming and douching, not only the online courtship of hooking up makes masturbating with a dildo more appealing than dealing with that crap.

From the article:

Japan’s under-40s appear to be losing interest in conventional relationships. Millions aren’t even dating, and increasing numbers can’t be bothered with sex. For their government, “celibacy syndrome” is part of a looming national catastrophe. Japan already has one of the world’s lowest birth rates. Its population of 126 million, which has been shrinking for the past decade, is projected to plunge a further one-third by 2060.

Really, I’m not worried about it.

Seriously, what the fuck SEC? The story of the conference as it unfolded yesterday:

• Home underdog Vanderbilt literally stole the game against #15 Georgia 31-27 thanks to the Dawg’s fumble-happy ways.
• Tennessee jumped on South Carolina early, Gamecocks quarterback Connor Shaw got hurt, a last second field goal gave the Vols the 23-21 win.
• Sure Missouri was ranked higher than Florida, but it’s Missouri with a backup quarterback! They still got the win 36-17.
• Johnny Manziel got hurt, and Auburn had more bullets in the gun in their 45-41 road win against the Aggies.
• Ole Miss won the Magnolia Bowl 27-24 as LSU looked completely unprepared in Oxford.
• Alabama held serve.

Perhaps the epitome of SEC football at its worse came on Sept. 13, 2008 when Auburn beat Mississippi State 3-2. But five years later from perhaps the worst football game in modern history, SEC football is pretty entertaining to watch.

Okay, they had to import a Big 12 team to their ranks in Texas A&M to become fun, but we saw the headwinds start to change in 2010 with Auburn and Gus Malzahn/Cam Newton.

But now things are unpredictable in the conference. Mizzou in their second year in the conference has shot to the top of the SEC East. The mainstays Georgia, South Carolina and Florida in the East are fumbling all over themselves.

The only reliable team is Alabama, as boring as they can be. I already have them winning the SEC West and in the SEC Championship game. So at least that narrative keeps going.

But everything else?

Here is the new AP rankings which bring up another what-the-fuck. Why are there no female voters for the poll? I know there are plenty of female college football sportswriters, reporters and such. So why no representation on the poll?

I’m sure there have been female voters before, but looking at the list of voters today sort of caught my notice.

Anyway, here are my rankings.

The same guy who wrote the bizarre piece on Grantland comparing Nirvana and Counting Crows is at it again. This time Steven Hyden wrote more than 3,000 words about Pearl Jam. Now it’s beginning to make sense.

Aside from a song or two, that is 3,000 words too many for this band. That’s it.

Really? What the fuck is it?

I first heard about it this morning on Deadspin. Apparently the Atlanta Braves posted about it on Facebook, and fans showed their displeasure. Hardball Talk noted the same reaction by Dodgers and Mets fans.

But we all know most people online are complete scumbuckets who should probably be forced to be sterilized, preferably without anesthetics or pain killers. It’s like the Twitter account Baseball’s Best Fans. Sure it’s fucked up, but all fan bases have fans that are that fucked up.

So whatever. No skin off my ass. But I really wanted to know what the hell this Spirit Day is all about.

My first note that this is bullshit is the fact it’s the work of GLAAD. If anyone deserves to be bullied, it’s those people in organizations like GLAAD and HRC.

The whole goal is that by wearing purple, bullying will go away! From the GLAAD website:

Millions wear purple on Spirit Day as a sign of support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth and to speak out against bullying. Spirit Day was started in 2010 by high school student Brittany McMillan as a response to the young people who had taken their own lives. Observed annually, individuals, schools, organizations, corporations, media professionals and celebrities wear purple, which symbolizes spirit on the rainbow flag. Getting involved is easy — participants are asked to simply “go purple” on October 17th as we work to create a world in which LGBT teens are celebrated and accepted for who they are

How fucking insufferable.

Wearing purple is not going to stop bullying. Wearing purple is not going to stop queer kids from offing themselves. Wearing purple won’t spark the dawn of the age of Aquarius.

If kids are getting bullied, help them. If kids are so depressed they are thinking about ending it all, help them. Painting yourself in purple and repeating the asinine marketing lines like, “It gets better,” won’t help these kids.

What gives organizations like GLAAD and HRC hardons is the photo-op and the sound bites. Years ago when I emailed these groups about doing “A Day without a Gay” similar to “A Day without a Mexican”, GLAAD didn’t respond and HRC said that it was too extreme.

My thinking was that if they didn’t want to give us queers equal rights, let’s see the breeders try and live a day without us. Perhaps that was too direct and confrontation for them. It would force them to get a little dirty and could possibly soil their pristine suits and Prada loafers.

So really. Fuck Spirit Day. Real life problems can’t be solved by a fucking pep rally.

To help keep myself sane, I decided this year to cut down on college football coverage on LAist. So instead of doing the rankings there, I’m doing them here. Don’t worry if you don’t follow that logic. I don’t follow it either.

I have long said that preseason polls and the first four weeks of polls are bunk. You can’t judge a team based on their performance the prior year. Take USC last year. They were the preseason no. 1 after going 10-2 the prior year. USC crapped the bed to go 7-6 including the loss to Georgia Tech in the Sun Bowl. Yeah, good going.

Also, in the first few weeks, there are a lot of cupcakes being played. Can we really judge Oregon on how they played Nicholls State? Is Alabama the same monster they are after beating Georgia State 45-3? Did Louisville strain a finger while playing Eastern Kentucky?

Here’s the new AP poll and below is my rankings

Anyone who knows the Dodgers knows the man on the right. Sandy Motherfucking Koufax. After the Dodgers win last night, he walked into the clubhouse with Lon Rosen*. He wanted to congratulate Clayton Kershaw on his performance, but he didn’t want to overshadow the champagne celebration that was going on.

* Mr. Rosen is best known as being Magic Johnson’s agent. He also tried to get the Dodgers to hire cheerleaders and a mascot back in 2004. He is responsible for trying to phase out Dodger organist Nancy Bea Hefley and bringing in the in-stadium emcees to scream at the fans before the game and try and convince everyone of how much fun they should be having.

So the story I wrote last night on LAist about the game did sound a bit wistful. I apologize for that. See, it’s the last Dodger game I’m covering this year because of credentials and MLB and shit.

I fall prey to the pitfalls of covering games a lot. I get jaded. Oh it’s another baseball game. Set up, go downstairs, get dinner, watch the game, write, go downstairs, file, go home. Considering I am at over 100 sporting events per year, it can become routine.

But last night was different. Perhaps it’s being out amongst the fans in the aux box. But when Juan Uribe hit that home run, it was one of the biggest moments of awe I’ve had doing this.

When I got downstairs, I did my best to avoid the splashing liquids. I was mostly successful. It’s a fun environment. When the Dodgers clinched the division in 2009, I got caught up in everything. Last night, I was a bit more aware.

It is pure chaos and joy in there. The music is blasting, guys are screaming, you can’t hear anything that’s being said. I put my voice recorder out there and just hope for the best. It’s a bit like this:

So that’s it. I’ll still dutifully write about the Dodgers, but since I won’t be at the games I’ll compensate for that by being bitchier. It’s a win for the readers. It’s a win for me. It’s probably not a win for the Dodgers.

The playoffs are a whole different animal. For one I’m in the “aux box”, a couple of rows in Section 3 of the Reserve Level that’s for the overflow media. I wish I could cover games from up here all year long, actually. The fans are all around us, we can hear their energy. It’s so much better.

Of course it would be great if I weren’t still trying to get over this cold. But this is the lot I’m dealt with. Yadda yadda.

Just like in 2009, MLB denied my credential request of the NLCS and the World Series. The PDF document they sent me doesn’t allow you to copy and paste, so I’ll do it old school style and type it out.

On behalf of Major League Baseball, I would like to think you for your coverage fo our sports and for your interest in covering the 2013 MLB League Championship and World Series.

**Please disregard this letter if the team you applied to cover has already been eliminated from contention**

As I am sure you are well aware, the League Championship and World Series received tremendous media interest. Unfortunately, because of limited space at all of the ballparks, we can credential only a fraction of those that apply.

Please be advised that due to severe space restrictions we must deny your application for working media credentials for the 2013 League Championship and World Series. We regret any inconvenience this may cause.

Video and audio footage from all LCS and World Series press conferences will be available via satellite free of charge at ***. We encourage you to take advantage for this opportunity.

Sincerely,
John Blundell
Senior Director, Public Relations

It sucks, but since I expected this it’s not that big of a disappointment. Yeah, I’m bitter that some stupid morning zoo fuck radio show will be allowed to come over and ask their litany of inane questions while I am holed up wherever I am trying to write about the games.

But I’m not part of the Baseball Writers Association of America so I have no recourse. Besides, it’s cool that the Dodgers allowed me to crash the first round since they have control over the credentialing. So yeah.

I’ll still write about them as far as they go, but I guess I get to be meaner. Which is great for everyone involve I suppose.

Now for the real things that are sucking. I do have a lovely cold that has gotten a bit worse, and the power is scheduled to be turned off in my apartment from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. The Dodgers start at 3:07 p.m., so it should be interesting where I wind up writing my story tonight.

I started feeling a little bit of something yesterday: fatigue, a little tickle in the back of the throat that felt nothing like a penis. This morning I have a little bit of congestion and feeling tired. It’s not a full-blown cold, but enough to annoy the piss out of me. Then again, everything annoys the piss out of me so I guess everything is normal. ?

This past weekend seemed to take more of the piss out of me than I expected. I initially was going to not write anything on Monday, which I didn’t, but it extended to Tuesday. I only wrote a little preview piece of the Dodgers-Braves series last night, so I guess it’s time for me to get my act together.

I finished reading The Dreyfus Affair last night, a love affair between a shortstop and a second baseman. The premise is good: a gay love story amongst players on a baseball team. I found almost all of the characters deplorable, and there is a sudden plot shift in the middle of the book when their love affair is exposed, it felt like a bit of a stretch.

I’ll write a little more sports here. I’ll do some college football and NFL stuff here, stuff that doesn’t really belong on LAist. (hint: I’ll do my college football rankings here starting Saturday night.)

I didn’t expect to be too busy today. All I had to do was go to Dodger Stadium at 1 p.m. for a presser on the Kings-Ducks outdoor game in January and write that up.

But I woke up this morning to the Dodger fan stabbed to death in SF. I wrote that up quickly. Then more surprises when I was asked to help fill in due to sicknesses. So I wrote about jersey sales, bike share programs and homophobia in pasta.

I left for the presser and came back just in time to tutor my cousin who needed help in chemistry and US History.

Got home. Cooked chicken. Since I can’t fill in tomorrow, I wrote some pieces to help fill things in tomorrow. Oh, and I wrote the hockey at Dodger Stadium bit. I’m happy that commissioner Gary Bettman didn’t laugh at my question.

So that was a good 12 hours of running around which was cool. Beats sticking my thumb up my ass I suppose.

Tomorrow is gay day at the Ravine, and I haven’t a thing to wear!