CFB: What the Fuck SEC?


Seriously, what the fuck SEC? The story of the conference as it unfolded yesterday:

  • Home underdog Vanderbilt literally stole the game against #15 Georgia 31-27 thanks to the Dawg’s fumble-happy ways.
  • Tennessee jumped on South Carolina early, Gamecocks quarterback Connor Shaw got hurt, a last second field goal gave the Vols the 23-21 win.
  • Sure Missouri was ranked higher than Florida, but it’s Missouri with a backup quarterback! They still got the win 36-17.
  • Johnny Manziel got hurt, and Auburn had more bullets in the gun in their 45-41 road win against the Aggies.
  • Ole Miss won the Magnolia Bowl 27-24 as LSU looked completely unprepared in Oxford.
  • Alabama held serve.

Perhaps the epitome of SEC football at its worse came on Sept. 13, 2008 when Auburn beat Mississippi State 3-2. But five years later from perhaps the worst football game in modern history, SEC football is pretty entertaining to watch.

Okay, they had to import a Big 12 team to their ranks in Texas A&M to become fun, but we saw the headwinds start to change in 2010 with Auburn and Gus Malzahn/Cam Newton.

But now things are unpredictable in the conference. Mizzou in their second year in the conference has shot to the top of the SEC East. The mainstays Georgia, South Carolina and Florida in the East are fumbling all over themselves.

The only reliable team is Alabama, as boring as they can be. I already have them winning the SEC West and in the SEC Championship game. So at least that narrative keeps going.

But everything else?

Here is the new AP rankings which bring up another what-the-fuck. Why are there no female voters for the poll? I know there are plenty of female college football sportswriters, reporters and such. So why no representation on the poll?

I’m sure there have been female voters before, but looking at the list of voters today sort of caught my notice.

Anyway, here are my rankings.

Rank Last Week School Record AP Rank Comments
1 1 Alabama 7-0, 4-0 SEC 1 In a conference where upsets seemed to rule the day, the Tide hosted Arkansas and Woo Pig Sooie-ed them straight outta Tuscaloosa 52-0. Now they get to host Tennessee next week right after their emotional upset of Steve Spurrier and South Carolina.
2 7 Florida State 6-0, 4-0 ACC 3 Last week I wanted the ‘Noles to impress me with a victory, and they sure did with a 51-14 walloping of Clemson at Death Valley. A thing to look out for is the trap game next week against the always pesky North Carolina State before the big one against Miami.
3 2 Oregon 7-0, 4-0 Pac-12 2 There was no doubt Oregon was going to beat Washington State at home, but at a certain point they only held a 27-21 lead in the second quarter. Sure the Ducks won 62-38, but they allowed 38 points to Wazzu. This is a Wazzu team that only managed 10 points against USC! Sorry Oregon. You’re vulnerable, hence the drop from no. 2.
4 3 Ohio State 7-0, 3-0 Big Ten 4 Ohio State had two weeks to get ready for Iowa, and that’s how they perform? Ohio State didn’t get the lead until 3:15 left in the third quarter. Iowa isn’t as bad as they have been as of late, but let’s not pretend that they’re anything better than mediocre. The Buckeyes get the 34-24 win, but for that they fall.
5 Auburn 6-1, 3-1 SEC 11 Head coach Gus Malzahn is a bit of a football genius in the South. It amazes me he played second fiddle to the likes of Houston Nutt and Gene Chizik. But here he comes back to Auburn and after a bad year comes back, stares down Johnny Football in Kyle Field and comes away with a victory. It was by far one of the most entertaining games of the day yesterday.
6 Missouri 7-0, 3-0 SEC 5 Holy smokes Mizzou. Their backup quarterback gets the start, they still beat Georgia. Mizzou has the inside track for the SEC Championship Game to get spanked by Alabama. It just shows how awful the SEC East is.
7 9 Stanford 6-1, 4-1 Pac-12 8 That hiccup against Utah was pretty bad, but Stanford proved two things yesterday. 1. That hiccup against the Utes was an aberration. 2. UCLA isn’t ready to hang out at the big boy table. Both teams spent the entire first half feeling each other out, but Stanford proved why they have been the cream of the Pac-12 for the past few years. But man, this game looked like an old-school ugly SEC game.
8 10 Miami (FL) 6-0, 2-0 ACC 7 This was a matter of who-else-do-I-put-in-this-spot. They pulled out the 27-23 victory when North Carolina decided to have a “Zero Dark Thursday” night. Yes. How fucking stupid. It was a nice way of having their students show up in blackface.
9 Texas Tech 7-0, 4-0 Big 12 10 Texas Tech gets rated over Baylor because they beat TCU and West Virginia on the road. Baylor’s offense is impressive, but unlike the AP, I won’t be going crazy folks.
10 UCF 5-1, 2-0 American 21 They just proved how overrated Louisville is, almost beat South Carolina, beat Penn State in Happy Valley. So why not? It’s like in 2007 when South Florida was ranked no. 2 for a week. Let’s go crazy folks!