Most of the news I read is thanks to a link via Twitter or Facebook. If a headline doesn’t move me, that’s pretty much all I know. So when I saw the David Cameron headline yesterday about him and a pig, I figured it was some stupid news agency mistaking the first episode of Black Mirror for real life and reporting on that. Given how many people are duped by The Onion, it a fairly plausible explanation.

So I look on the Twitter machine last night, and people were still going on about David Cameron fucking a pig. I was shocked to see how many people still haven’t seen Black Mirror, but I decided to search the story anyhow. Cue the New York Daily News:

How’s this for a pig in a poke?

A soon-to-be-published book makes a shocking claim that British Prime Minister David Cameron put a “private part of his anatomy” in a dead pig’s mouth as part of a student initiation ritual at Oxford.

Say what? That wasn’t in the Black Mirror episode.

So let’s get this straight-ish. The current British Prime Minister and conservative leader willingly stuck his dick in a pig’s mouth?

Allegedly?

Straight rich white folk are nasty. It’s bad enough these motherfuckers don’t use washcloths, but they have the strangest initiation rituals. There’s the Skull and Crossbones where everyone jizzed on you while you are lying in a coffin or something stupid like that, and now this pig fucking thing at Oxford? The sexual repression amongst rich white folk is pretty ridiculous.

It might have appeared that I watched both Monday Night Football games last night, but I didn’t. Not one bit. I didn’t actually witness the mismatched 49ers uniforms or Trent Dilfer yelling at me all night or anything this Australian guy was writing about in his liveblog of the game.

Instead I watched this documentary on the Paris v. America fashion battle at the Palace of Versailles in 1973 which is far more interesting than a bunch of wannabe obese heterosexual men in tight clothing running around for 10 seconds then falling down.

I knew it was supposed to rain overnight. When I first saw the alerts late last week, the National Weather Service said to expect about an inch of rain. Then the estimates went down. Down. So I wasn’t expecting much more than a few sprinkles.

When I woke up this morning, I saw that we got over a 1/2 inch of rain here in the Pedro, and close to two inches in Downtown LA. That certainly was surprising.

However in its wake, we are not left with a nice crisp day. Nope, this was a tropical system meaning now it’s hot and muggy, much more like Louisiana than Southern California. Hopefully local water districts have plans for retaining all of this water. I doubt it though. So, really, this doesn’t do much for the drought especially since there was no snow.

Couldn’t they find at least one gay person in San Francisco to tell them their hats clash with their outfits?

Today I had to go and get The Grandmother’s monthly allotment of Vicodin. New state laws dictates that a written prescription needs to be given to the pharmacist. No automatic refills. No fax. No email. No phone call.

So to Downtown LA I went to pick up the prescription from the doctor and I remarked how great the traffic was what with Rosh Hashanah. I got to his office in 20 minutes and was really excited about getting all of this done early. So back to San Pedro I went to get the prescription filled at Target by my apartment. Backup Pharmacist was there whom I’ve never met, but I didn’t think much about it. I’ve done this once a month this entire year with no incident.

But then the clerk comes back to me with the prescription saying that two of the 4s written down didn’t match. Wow. I didn’t know Backup Pharmacist was a handwriting expert, too! I asked if they could call the doctor since I didn’t want to have to drive back down to Downtown LA, but both the clerk and Backup Pharmacist refused. I guess that’s what I get for being happy about the traffic.

So back to Downtown LA I went, and thankfully the traffic wasn’t any worse. I had to wait a little at the doctor’s office while he finished with a patient and called Backup Pharmacist to ask what her damage was. And then back I went to the Pedro to fill the prescription, slowed down by slow-driving expensive German import luxury cars.

I first left the apartment at 10:30 am and finally got back 2:15 pm with the drugs. It would have been easier to score some smack or buy the Vicodin on the street than to do this all legally. It’s sad that rather than trying to actually care about patients and their needs, the main role of doctors and pharmacists and everyone in this healthcare cartel is to minimize their liability at all costs.

That’s why I’m not kidding when I say I’m not getting old. I’m not going to be stupid like The Grandmother and get old and linger. I’m offing myself before that happens. Any. Means. Necessary.

To blow of steam I decided to go for a run on this humid day. I got back home and was still just as angry — now I was just hungry since I didn’t have time to eat.

I guess it also didn’t help that I saw this during my run. I’m so proud of my stupid little town sometimes.

I know I find the concept of a “Jimmy Gone Wild” weekend hilarious since there is very little actual wild things going on. My yobo Daniel summed it up succinctly in an email yesterday: “when your ___ GONE WILD weekend is at its naughtiest when eating high glycemic load foods, we can expect you to put a sentence together.”

And that’s basically what it’s all about for me: catching up with friends and hearing the bits of their lives that don’t end up on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or whatever. There are no drug-fueled orgies or forgotten moments although I do wish those things would happen.

It all started with catching up with Daniel and Staci Friday night. Hearing what they have been up to reassured me that age doesn’t necessarily have to mean that it is time to tame things down. Of course I could feel my bitter jealousy start to bubble up as I listened to their exploits, but that’s just a stupid thing really. We had a pizza party and walked over to Pazzo Gelato which looked a lot smaller than I remembered.

Saturday was a day with Emma featuring Catherine, Tyson and Ben where we got crazy with Souplantation, Target and Colombo’s Italian Steakhouse in Eagle Rock. Sunday was Noodle World, Santa Monica and crepes with Madd.

There was nothing wild. There was me talking loudly (as I tend to do) and making people very uncomfortable (my specialty!!!) There was a lot of walking. There was a lot of laughing. It was all too much so that I had to rest all day yesterday. High glycemic loads and walking. That takes it out of me.

I get another wild weekend the first weekend in October.

Only in a male breeder world is this:

preferable to this:

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you guys and your fantasies.

A rare late night post from me. After a tiring day going from doctor to doctor to urgent care with the Grandmother (she’s fine — she just has an infection in her elbow that is okay now) went over to Daniel’s to have an impromptu pizza party with Staci. To show you how wild we were, we also went and got gelato at Pazzo, then went back to his place to watch an old episode of the 1950s and 60s game show “I’ve Got a Secret.” Now I am just beat.

By the way, this image is a emoji thingee Yobo made of himself that were going around the texting the last couple of days. I just stole this one to serve as an image placeholder since we didn’t take an pictures of our way too exciting evening.

We may be a little high maintenance, but we’re worth the extra cost.

Over the last month or so while people here in Southern California are almost dying over anticipation of the predicted coming El Niño, I’ve slowly been more and more doubtful that it will bring us all the rain people think it will.

The last several years have featured a a ridge of high pressure during the winters that refuses to budge. Nicknamed by meteorologists as the Ridiculously Resilient Ridge, the RRR blocked all storms from coming into California which is what led us to the historic drought we find ourselves in.

Looking at the sea surface temperature anomolies shows that we are in an El Niño pattern and that it is the strongest one measured yet:

What is not part of the El Niño pattern, however, are the warm waters off the US and Canadian Pacific coast known as “The Blob”. That is global warming, and what is not known is what effect it will have to El Niño. And that is what has tempered my enthusiasm. Will the RRR beat El Niño and further exacerbate the drought? Is The Blob off our coast causing the RRR or did the RRR cause The Blob?

Yobo posted this post on Facebook that hypothesizes the RRR was actually caused by warm waters in the Western tropical Pacific and that El Niño has killed that off.

…there is considerable evidence that a fundamental driver of the Triple R’s longevity was the persistent warmth of the western tropical Pacific ocean (mentioned in the first section of this article). And that warmth is rapidly disappearing as El Niño strengthens rapidly. The take-home message here: a primary cause of the Triple R is no longer in place, and so it’s unlikely that we’ll see yet another winter of persistent anomalous ridging over the northeastern Pacific Ocean.

So I guess I’m a little less pessimistic, but I guess we’ll see what happens. I know in the near future, there is a ridge of high pressure that will set up over the West next week. The return of the RRR?

And if El Niño happens, what then? With the subtropical jet blasting towards Southern California, sure we get the rain, the mudslides. But all of that is tropical moisture meaning snow levels will probably be over 7,000 feet meaning the snowpack won’t be helped that much. But considering where our snowpack was this past April, it can’t be that much worse. I certainly hope that local water districts will have a better way of capturing the rain that might come down.

Just some thoughts I’ve had.

Because I find it hard to be transfixed by a baseball game, I was flipping through the channels while the Dodger game was on Monday night. FX was airing the Seth Rogen classic This Is the End. I loved it when I first watched it, and upon second viewing I just thought it was all right. However the movie reinforced just how adorable I find Jay Baruchel to be.

Despite being such a bottom queen, I’ve always found the slight skinny guys attractive. Sure the burly men are also great, but the skinny boys tend to bring out my mothering side.

Yesterday I saw the Nina Hagen lookalike homeless girl walking closer to my neck of the woods while driving around. I wonder if she has even listened to Nina Hagen.

Last night’s Dodgers-Giants game went 14 innings and became almost as insufferable as Yankees-Red Sox games. The time-of-game was 5:29 which meant the game ended at 12:39 am when Adrian Gonzalez hit a single to the left field wall that scored AJ Ellis for the 5-4 win.

One thing that had me transfixed in that 14th inning was the Giants’ relief pitcher Mike Broadway. Well, specifically, his ass. Look at it!

It makes me want to go in there and motorboat ’em.

I remember sitting in the right field pavilion for the lone playoff game at Dodger Stadium in 2006 and felt just as hypnotized by Mets rightfielder Moises Alou’s ass. It also helped that Alou is a piss queen, too.

Fans tend to me annoying and stupid in general, and of course there were tons of social media lobs hurled at Dodger fans for not packing the stadium and not sticking it out through all 14 innings. It amazes me that people will use the level of one’s masochism as a measure of fandom. “I’m a bigger fan because I stuck it out in 10-degree cold wearing only nipple pasties and a thong.” “I’m a REAL fan because I sat through 12 hours of a game while hung over for the last 8 hours because they stopped serving beer and food.”

Even the mentally differently abled (is this the safe term for them?) are too smart for that retarded bullshit.