Lately I’ve been having a recurring dream that I had started hormone treatments to become female a couple of months ago. The other day I received news that somehow, inexplicably, I became pregnant. Now, in this dream, I’m walking around work aimlessly trying to distract myself from the reality of it all. I know I need to go to an OB/GYN to get the baby checked up, to figure out how in the hell this was possible since I’d only been on hormone treatments for a couple of months, figure out who the baby daddy is and tell him. But I’m just trying to delay this as much as possible.
While I have all of this weighing me down, I run into some coworkers and I just had to tell them that I’m pregnant. I don’t pay attention to their reaction — I’m just venting.
Ok now here in the real world. I am not trans and have never had any gender dysphoria. I am very comfortable being a man. While I may not like the actual vessel I’m in, I like that my genitals are on the outside. Also, I do not want children.
So what does this mean?
Just a note: I KNOW that’s now how things work. I know taking hormones won’t magically give me female genitals, and I know it would take more than that to get pregnant. But tell that to my stupid subconscious. What a typical man. Ugh.