Last Night I Dreamed a Nuclear Bomb Exploded

I don’t know what the circumstances were, but I was watching the television as they counted down when the blast would occur. I happened to have a lead-lined suitcase in the middle of my bedroom and did my best to squeeze into the cramped quarters as the news anchor counted down. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Silence. Nothing. I emerged from the suitcase, checked on my grandmother and went to the bathroom to take a piss. It was then that I woke up because I had to take a piss.

When I got back to bed I couldn’t go back to sleep. It wasn’t a nightmare because I wasn’t particularly upset about the end of the world. Eventually I wound up masturbating then fell right asleep.

Now, it’s hot , and I’m tired. But I bought some ginger ale days after I had a hankering for some soda pop. I feel a bit better now.