You People Are Assholes: Some Thoughts on Duck Dynasty

Duck Dynasty

1. Stop using religion as a refuge of your homophobia. The Bible doesn’t say that homosexuality is a sin any more than it says wearing blended fabric is a sin. If you don’t like gay people and don’t believe that we deserve equal rights, then you’re homophobic. You’re not religious. You’re not righteous. You just have hate in your heart.

So fuck you. Fuck the whole lot of yous. If you spout that sort of shit too close to me, I just might punch you in the throat. After I punch your throat, I just might take a big hot steaming shit in your mouth. Does that make me intolerant? You bet your damn bippy it does. Is it me impinging on your religious beliefs? No.

Fuck you cunts.

2. It’s a fucking reality show. Has culture devolved so much that we are taking our moral cues from a reality show?

I’ve never watched “Duck Dynasty”. I never want to watch “Duck Dynasty”. I don’t care about anyone on “Duck Dynasty”. I don’t even know what the fuck it’s about.

What the fuck do I care if someone on that show is a raging racist and homophobe? Why the fuck should anyone care if someone on that show is a raging racist and homophobe?

If you really care about changing this sort of discourse, do something productive about it. Find religious leaders who are not homophobic and give them a platform. Vote out the homophobic politicians. Be more visible.

3. Free Speech. I’m seeing a lot of liberal blogs saying that free speech doesn’t mean you deserve a television show, that free speech doesn’t protect you from getting fired. And they’re right.

So let’s get rid of this Duck guy. Let’s obliterate him.

But back in the 1960s, that’s not what these liberal activists were fighting for. College campuses across the country wanted open dialogues and all of that other nice stuff in their utopian wet dreams. Now they want to squash open discourse?

4. Culture Wars. I can’t help but notice this has become a war of crisp suits vs. white trash. There is a condescension from the “elite” dictating how the “everyday man” should live. So did you really think the stupid conservative and tea party fuckwits wouldn’t jump on that?

5. All of you are sniveling pussies. ALL of you.

Anytime something you don’t like comes up, you have to get on Facebook and Twitter and bitch about it. Kim Kardashian is a cancer. Kanye West is stupid. Duck Dynasty are racist.

All of your bitching does nothing but legitimize these people. (See the end of No. 2 for possible action plans.)

I understand that in writing this rant, I am being a bit of a hypocrite. But I never said I wasn’t a hypocrite.

6. Fuck political correctness. Political correctness in this country has become an Orwellian scourge. It’s made it so that no one can say anything for fear of becoming unemployable.

Sometimes we need this sort of shit to pop up to tell us that we still have a ways to go.

Look. There will always be homophobes, racists, rapists, misogynists etc. As much as we want to live in a peaceful loving world, it will never happen.

What this Duck guy said was wrong. His beliefs are reprehensible. I get it. A lot of people get it.

But the response to what he said has now turned him into a martyr for the right. It has legitimized his beliefs however radical they may be.

All I’m asking is get a fucking grip people.