Oh Pear!

Okay, I admit it. I do like going up to people when I pick out a nice pear to eat and go, “Look! An Oh Pear!” It makes me giggle to no end.

It’s almost like another joke I love to tell. What is the sound of a water truck colliding with a vinegar truck? DOUCHE! Well, you have to see me tell it.

When I was little I read this joke from a stupid joke book: an American, a Brit and a Russian are on a plane that’s on fire. There are no parachutes. In a moment of desperation the American decides to jump out of the plane. He screams out, “God save me,” jumps out and lands on a haystack. The Brit sees this and decides to the same thing. He too lands on a haystack.

The Russian is giddy with excitement knowing he will also be saved. Unfortunately there was the matter of his accent. He screamed out, “God shave me!” The Russian landed on a barber’s chair.

See? Stupid. But it tickles me to no end.