Army of Mothers

Army of Mothers
Army of Mothers

Driving through Redondo Beach, I saw a horde. Four new mothers in workout garb complete with strollers were crossing the street to meet a group of five other mothers in similar attire. I did see a couple of fanny packs, a pair of Gucci sunglasses, some spandex and some lingering pregnancy weight.

While I admire these mothers for their desire to remain active while tending to their new bundles of joy, it is quite an apocalyptic sight. Just close your eyes and picture it….

I think what made it scary for me was wondering if these women were friends before their decision to have a child. If so, did they get together 18 months ago and coordinate their conceptions? It would be a gathering filled with pinot grigio or white zinfandel as they cackled on and on about how great it would be if all of their kids could grow up together. The coffee table they surround has a potpourri centerpiece with recent issues of Martha Stewart Living, InStyle and People magazines in perfect place.

I’m sure there’s one woman in that group who, tried as she might, just couldn’t conceive so right now she’s going through fertilization treatments while being shunned by the other yentas.

“She just didn’t try hard enough,” Yenta A said.

“I hear her husband’s sperm is defective,” Yenta B said.

Terrifying, huh? This is why I am scared of heterosexuals.

According to my profile, I have listened to the same amount of Lady Gaga and Slayer songs in the last six months: 34.

Cigarette Count – Tue., May 10, 2011: 5

Image swiped from here.