The sea was choppy and the weather was moist the last couple of days. Humid. No rain fell in Santa Monica today, but all day it looked like things were churning.
One of my coworkers is a contractor who’s time is up next Friday, so we decided to head out to Malibu and get dinner at Gladstones. She regretted not coming out to the beach more since being at Hulu. I figure I should probably go more often. So there I was.
It’s hard for me sometimes to take a deep breath because I’m always paranoid that I’m going to get fired, that any stability that I might have foreseen will be stripped away from me at any minute, that even though they tell me I’m doing a good job right now that sometime real soon something will turn and they will tell me to get out get out I don’t want to see you ever again you fucking bastard.
I know that’s not the case because I do a good job and they wouldn’t have hired me on full time if they didn’t want me there. But there are always those whispers in the back of my mind.