I really wanted to like Maps to the Stars. David Cronenberg is a genius, and even some of his “misses” are compelling to watch. But Maps is a flat trite story that is saved by the performances of its actors.
The movie opens with AGATHA WEISS (Mia Wasikowska) asleep on a bus going from Jupiter, Florida returning to Los Angeles. Having been committed to an institution after setting her house on fire with her little brother (Evan Bird) drugged up and locked in his room, she returns to seemingly seek forgiveness and atonement as one of her steps to recovery. Thanks to a Twitter friendship with CARRIE FISHER (herself), she gets a job as a personal assistant (chore whore) for HAVANA SEGRAND (Julianne Moore) who is trying to reprise her dead mother CLARICE TAGGERT’s (Sarah Gadon) role in the cult classic “Stolen Waters.” Agatha’s brother BENJIE is now an enfant terrible child actor who has just gotten out of rehab whose father is a television psychologist DR. STAFFORD WEISS (John Cusack) and mother CHRISTINA (Olivia Williams) is his manager.
Bruce Wagner’s script wants to be a biting Hollywood satire with all the predictable ingredients. Pretty ingenue travels to Hollywood. Bitchy actress whose career is in decline. Self-absorbed psychologist. Child star who’s starting down the road of excess. Liberal drug use. All of this paved with the work of enablers.
What makes this aspect of the story remotely bearable are the performances of the actors. Julianne Moore won the best actress prize at Cannes last year for this role. While she could have taken it to camp, she injected some new blood into the role by channeling a little of Lindsay Lohan. There is a charming scene where Havana calls Agatha upstairs to her bathroom and asks her to go to Whole Foods to get some laxatives because she was “backed up because of the Vicodin.”
Wasikowska is the glue to this film as Agatha connects all the strands together. Her Agatha is alternately vulnerable, innocent, scheming and psychotic. Rather than being over the top, she hits the right notes in every scene.
What makes the film disappointing is the supernatural thread that is treated superficially. Havana is haunted by her mother. Benjie is haunted by a girl he visits in the hospital at the beginning of the film who dies shortly thereafter from non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Halfway in the movie when Agatha finally meets Benjie, she says, “Benjie. There’s this script. I can’t explain but you’re a part of this beautiful mythological script.” While Benjie thinks this is yet another script he’s being pitched, Maps probably would have been better if it focused more on that rather than a convenient plot device.
Speaking of plot devices, I’m still wondering why Towncar driver JEROME FONTANA (Robert Pattinson) was written into the script. Was his function only to serve as point of conflict between Havana and Agatha?
This could have been a much better movie, and with Cronenberg, I was expecting a lot better.
It was summer 1996 right before my senior year of high school back when my curfew was 10. I spent a Saturday with C who was at a UCLA summer camp. While hanging out in her dorm room and traipsing around Westwood Village, I ended up buying a used copy of Stabbing Westward’s Wither, Blister, Burn and Peel at the Wherehouse. “What Do I Have to Do” was played quite a bit on KROQ, and while I thought it was NIN-lite, I couldn’t deny how catchy and good it is.
I got home a bit late, around 10:30, and that was when I had the worst fight with my mom. She had gone to bed early and woke up when I went to the bathroom. Naturally she asked where I was and didn’t believe me when I said where I was or what I was doing. I kept telling her that I was just spending the day with C at UCLA, and she insisted that I wasn’t. I could only imagine what she thought I was doing. I wondered what I did to make her not trust me — I didn’t drink or use drugs; I was a good student in AP classes. At this point I had only started smoking cigarettes for several months. I listened to dark music. I liked to hang out at coffeeshops with my friends. I had horrible self-esteem. I was loud and angry with role models being Howard Stern and Roseanne. I knew I wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t think I was off the rails.
How do you communicate this to a mother with just as bad of a temper as you and who refuses to believe you?
It was getting late, and I wanted to go to bed. My mom didn’t want to end the argument. As a 17-year old, I didn’t know what she wanted from me. I knew I was hiding something big, and I had no intention of ever telling her. But my mom kept yelling at me saying I wasn’t telling the truth. Then I blurted it out.
“I’m gay.”
Fuck. As those words came out, I knew it was a fucking mistake. I knew nothing good was going to come out of this and that this argument was not going to come to an end anytime soon. Predictably, my mom went even more berserk perfecting every melodramatic beat from Korean dramas.
I knew I had to just stand there and take it. Then she said it.
“If you ever bring this up again, I will shoot you and shoot myself.”
Everything blurred after that. I knew I was never going to get my mother’s love, that no one was going to be there for me. It definitely explains the relationship I have with my mom, and it probably explains why I have never been in a relationship or see myself ever being in one.
Since then whenever I listen to Stabbing Westward I think about this night.
All of this to say that I did go see them Friday night as they promoted their re-recording of Wither to celebrate its 30th anniversary along with PIG, Acumen Nation (celebrating the 30th anniversary of Territory=Universe) and 16Volt (celebrating the 30th anniversary of LetDownCrush) as a part of Cold Waves LA. It was a great show of reliving the 90s guitar industrial metal and seeing bands I didn’t get to see back in the day. Hell, PIG even played “Juke Joint Jezebel” which I guess you could call a KMFDM cover even though Raymond Watts was the original featured vocalist.
As I cursed my aching 47-year old feet and back standing for hours at the Pacific Electric, I did think back to that argument 30 years ago and wonder what other climatic moments the people around me had. What traumas are the guy next to me exorcising as he is screaming out the lyrics very much off key?
Around 1 am they finished the set with “Save Yourself,” and the house lights turned up. Sure, I’m still carrying all of that baggage, but at least I got to shake my ass a little and enjoy myself a little, pain be damned.
The only reason I really look forward to my birthday is that I get time off from work and that I usually rent an Airbnb out in the middle of the desert in the Joshua Tree vicinity with a pool, hot tub, and no one around for 5 acres. So here I am in Landers (or a bit away from it really) whose claim to fame was that it was the epicenter of a 7.3 earthquake in 1992 just hours before a separate 6.5 earthquake centered in Big Bear hit on a Sunday morning. Wild stuff.
I arrived here yesterday, and on the way had to stop to get gas. Since this stupid fucking illegal war with Iran has driven gas prices sky high again, I’ve mostly been back on public transit again because, fuck that. There I was at the Arco station jaw agape as the $30 went to $40 and on up until it landed at $72 for 13 gallons of gas. Yes, the “cheap” gas.
I’m going to be spending most of the time in or around the pool trying to finish Schattenfroh by Michael Lentz. I’m at around page 604, so I have about 400 more pages to go. I’ll be honest — I have no fucking clue what’s going on in the book. It’s a slow, slow read and demands your attention but not in a painstaking way. It’s a very enjoyable read, but I honestly don’t know how we get from one part to the next. Instead of trying to make sense of it, I’m just riding the wave, going where it’s taking me and try to make sense of it later.
I’ve started working on a couple of things with myself and hope to get better at as I begin my 48th year on this planet: I have started to journal more. It’s the most mundane scatterbrained thing. I hope it doesn’t cause someone’s head to explode when they go through my journals after I’m dead. (How cute. I think I have any importance that people will actually read what I write rather than just dispose it like they should.)
I need to curb my YouTube addiction. I don’t watch tv shows. I don’t watch sports all that much. I don’t use TikTok. I only doomscroll through Facebook at 3 am after I have woken up to take a piss. I am no longer perpetually online. But I will sit down and waste hours upon hours watching YouTube videos. I really need to get that in check.
That’s all I’ve got. Overall, I’m not happy, but I’m not completely depressed. Let’s just call it nonplussed. For someone who feels like a stranger in his own country, I guess that’s about as good as we can hope for.