The Dodgers, The Nationals and Gangbangs
The Dodgers 8-3 loss to the Washington Nationals last night was less than inspiring. Heading into a presumable playoff run, the game was hardly anything to inspire confidence for fans still waiting since the confetti cleared up in 1988 for that World Series coronation.
It had been a week or so since I last caught a Dodger game, so I decided to watch them open a home series Nationals. After all, a month ago when my emotions exploded all over the place with the travails of my grandmother, the Dodgers were in DC. It was a battle between first-place clubs and what was being billed as an NLCS preview. For once I gave in to the hyperbole and allowed myself to escape what I was dealing with for a few hours.
Since then it’s been mostly about new routines, living with what we are given, etc. My therapist would be so proud of me. Thanks to having last weekend off, my emotions are steadier than they were a month ago. In other words I can deal.
With the first-place Dodgers, though, that’s another story. After a rough weekend in Pittsburgh, they came home to face what used to be the first place Nationals and presented this lineup:
1. Jimmy Rollins, SS
2. Jose Peraza, 2B
3. Yasiel Puig, RF
4. Scott Van Slyke, 1B
5. Kiké Hernandez, CF
6. Alberto Callaspo, 3B
7. Alex Guerrero, LF
8. A.J. Ellis, C
9. Brett Anderson, P
I didn’t think I could deal with the spring training feel of that lineup, but what the hell do I know? I’m not covering and watching all the games anymore. Maybe Don Mattingly was doing what I’ve heard managers say all the time even in the face of lineups like this and “put out the best lineup they think will win on a given night.”
Against Gio Gonzalez, this iteration of the Los Angeles Dodgers had no shot. The Dodgers lost 8-3 and didn’t score until a Carl Crawford pinch hit three run homer in the ninth off of Doug Fister with the help of an error to get an extra out.
With the game being a tire fire for the Dodgers, other thoughts creeped in. Watching Gio Gonzalez make his pitches and Bryce Harper make fantastic catches out in right field, I remarked what a sexy team the Nationals are. If I had to get gangbanged by a Major League team, I would choose to let the Nationals have a field day with my orifices.
Let’s face it. Gangbangs are hardly a thrilling proposition for the person getting banged. It’s like going to a buffet. While there are a large variety of dicks involved, you hardly ever get a grade-A fuck. But still, you want to get your money’s worth so you make sure to stuff yourself full until you can’t handle anymore dicks. When it’s all over, there is a tinge of regret for what just happened. There are aches and pains and you wind up walking funny for a little bit.
And these are my thoughts while watching the Dodgers suck it up for several hours, and I realize that I really need to get laid.