Knock Knock Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door

The Grandmother’s decline has gotten steeper the last couple of weeks. For the last year her decline was steady. Of course there was the exclamation earlier in the summer where her sciatica blew up for a month or so. But even after that she kept going.

Things plummeted a couple of weeks ago. All of the sudden she was throwing up. She didn’t want to eat. She was having to urinate way more than usual — she would have to go back to the bathroom just minutes after getting out of there.

Fortunately after a couple of days she stopped throwing up, but she still refuses to eat. She still is having to urinate frequently, and that is getting worse. Her short-term memory is nearly gone, she can hardly understand anything when you talk to her — you have to yell and talk very slowly.

While Dallas Aunt was here, even though she was able to look after the Grandmother while I went out and tried to be human again, she got very mad when I wasn’t there. She’s clinging to me as if I’m her only hope to live on.

While over the summer I was in tears, now I’m just numb. I know she’s knock-knock-knockin’ on heaven’s door so to speak, and I think I’m protecting myself emotionally for when that happens.