Being a Caretaker Ain’t All Roses


We went to my grandmother’s doctor who gave her a steroid injection into her back. That will help the pain she’s feeling in her legs starting tomorrow. Hopefully. But I did get confirmation from the doctor that her pain will keep getting worse no matter what. So I guess I have that to look forward to.

I want to thank people for their kind words. I’ve spent a lot of the day as an emotional mess. A few tears have been shed, but mostly there is this fluttering feeling in my chest and gut that’s ready to explode. Although I’m feeling better now than I did earlier. Actually, that’s a lie. I’m feeling more numb. And tired. It’s amazing that despite not physically exerting myself just how fucking tired I am right now.

Now I have to steel myself for Dallas Aunt coming. She’s getting in tonight and leaving Monday. I haven’t really forgiven her for her outrage back in March. So on top of everything else, I guess I have that to deal with. Although I aim to just ignore and repress because I’m just not in any fucking mood for it.

I really wonder how my grandmother gets through this. I’m amazed by her strength to endure all of this pain. It’s astonishing because here I am just breaking down at the drop of a hat. She actually has reason to, but she’s just plugging along.