Acting Notes

I hate looking for a new place to live. In all my life, I don’t think I’ve ever actively looked for a place. In SB, Roomie #2 did all of the work. For this place, lotusblossom hooked me up. All this time: no effort. Being forced into this situation makes me realize how lucky I’ve been. The first step is finding the desirable property within our means. So far everything in our price range have been in pretty shady parts. Everything that’s looked nice has been way out of our price range. It’s so disheartening that the only possible way for us to afford a place would be if one of us nabbed a sugar daddy. We talked about it last night and decided since I’m younger and able to change my personality easier, I would be the one. So we discussed the essence of getting a sugar daddy.

• Cannot show any signs of intelligence.
• Make SD think he’s the center of the world.
• Must be able to service SD whenever he calls.
• Needs to show dependence on SD.

Never mind that you have to be comfortable with selling yourself. For me it’s either this or get an NEA grant. Of course this puts me in a morally compromised position, but I can justify it with a long diatribe about the socioeconomic hardships of living in the hyper-capitalistic Amerikan state. Of course once we get that cinched up, we have to meet the landlords. Since we want to appear conservative, we decided that we have to be married. Meaning I have to act straight. I haven’t had to do that in years and years. So additionally I need notes on this. So far:

• Pretend I have a golf ball up my ass.
• Show no excitement whatsoever.
• Try to be as boring as possible.

Those of you who know me know I’m a very expressive person. I talk with my hands and face. So this one is going to be a stretch for me. Ugh. It just seems like I’m putting way too much effort into this.