News Alert!!!!!!

Because I like to do a public service, and since it’s for the greater good of the world, I have an update on an item I reported on Friday. It is official. The folks at defamer.com was told that Macaulay Culkin is officially not gay. Since his “legal team” says so, it must be true. So vaginas of the world can celebrate that they have a chance to be penetrated at home alone by the Culk-ster. Hooray!