Buffet Thief

This morning I got into a shouting match with my mom. She wanted to take my aunt and I to brunch which is well and good. However some of you know the criminal ways of my mother. Whenever she goes to a buffet, she takes a large gift bag with her. In that gift bag she puts three two-gallon Ziploc freezer bags to put the food in. I was in no mood to deal with her having to look around and be shifty while dumping the contents of her plate into the Ziploc bags. So I tell her, “I’ll go but you’re not taking any bags with you.” She replies, “Whatever.” As we are leaving the apartment she makes a quick grab for the bag. My aunt makes a quick interception and throws the bag over to me. Crisis averted. But we had to sit throughout the entire meal with my mom mumbling, “I wish I could take this home.” Naturally the lack of Ziploc bags did not deter my mom. She managed to take a dozen cookies, two fistfuls of gummy worms, a slice of apple pie and a dozen brownies and wrap them in a napkin and stuffed them in her purse. I guess where there’s a will, there’s a way. Anyhow, I think in a bit I will go and buy some frames and get some coffee. Goddamn I have food coma. Zzzzzzz.