Yesterday was The Grandmother’s funeral, and here she is in her final resting place. Well, a little more than six feet above her final resting place, but you get my drift. It was a nice ceremony despite the fact that I was tapped to deliver the eulogy. The service was done in Korean, and I mixed it up but did it mostly in English. Then we went to the grave site. After most of the mourners left, we family privately dumped earth on her grave.
Now we’re starting the process of cleaning up the apartment. Actually, the more accurate way of describing it is I’m making my mom and aunts clean up the damn place since they’re responsible for most the shit that has accumulated in this place.
I’m sad, but my emotions are blocked. I’m numb, perhaps a little shell-shocked, perhaps filled with anxiety on what my future holds. To be honest, I don’t know what’s going on with me. People ask how I’m holding up, and I don’t know the answer. I’m not grieving or weeping or anything like that, but I don’t feel right, either.
Oh wait. I have gin!!!! YAY GIN!