Romanian Orthodox Calendar

Fuck Religion?

I don’t mean to say in that title that religion is stupid, although that is certainly what I do believe. I mean to say a religion about fucking. Or perhaps not even an entire religion, but a sect of an already existing religion. Like Sexy Christianity or Lacy Islam or Foxy Buddhism. Where, all apologies to Tori Amos, where if you can make me cum maybe that does make you Jesus.

In today’s LA Times front page, Jonathan Kaiman took a look at the rise of ultra-conservative Salafism in China and how it’s dividing the Muslims in that country. About Salafism:

Salafism is an ultra- conservative school of thought within Sunni Islam, espousing a way of life and prayer that harks back to the 6th century, when Muhammad was alive. Islamic State militants are Salafi, many Saudi Arabian clerics are Salafi, and so are many Chinese Muslims living in Linxia.

Okay. I know those two sentences are trying to infer that Salafism = Terrorism, but I’m all but certain that it is way too simplistic to think about it that way. But the fact that people want to live like a bunch of nomads in 500 AD immediately makes me wary.

What really got me thinking is written several paragraphs later:

“I’ve been studying Muslims in China for the past 30 years, and it’s only over the past four or five that we see young Han men converting to a radical, conservative Islamic ideology,” said Dru Gladney, an expert on Chinese Muslims at Pomona College. “Not politically radical, but radically conservative, radically orthodox.”

This set my wheels in motion. Why are these sects of religion always ultra-conservative and austere? Look at the Pilgrims, the wacko Mormons, the people who actually like Ted Cruz, ISIS, the keep-the-women-away-from-the-prayer-wall Jews. All of them seem afraid of sexuality, afraid of the electrical impulses of the brain to carry on cognitive activity. Yet people flock to them as if denial of pleasure will somehow bring them closer to their god.

I would think that you would want to head into the afterlife full of experiences from this life, fully satisfied that you did everything in this incarnation and that you won’t be a miserable bitter fucking cunt in the next life. Besides, with all the ills that life hurls at you, isn’t fucking a good way to get through the pain?

By the way, that picture above is from a real Romanian Orthodox calendar.