Sigil of Baphomet

Church of Satan Application – Questions 2 and 3

2. What do you expect to accomplish through membership in the Church of Satan?

I honestly have no idea. I’m sort of doing this as a laugh/writing exercise, so I really have no expectations.

3. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?

1. I would ask for unlimited financial resources. The one thing that causes a lot of stress in people’s lives is money and the lack thereof. So why not eliminate that stress for good? That doesn’t mean I’ll spend my life doing nothing and lazing about. It just means that I won’t have to do something soul-sucking and thankless.

2. Peace in my family. Some people in my family are just cunts. I would like them to be civil and decent to one another so they don’t drive me to my grave earlier than I want.

3. No more bad sex. That’s pretty self-explanatory.