Daddy, What Does Regret Mean

I have had some pretty strange dreams in the past. I’ve killed an evil 2 year old girl who would kill people amusingly with her thoughts. I’ve had my head sawed off by the Russian mafia. Here’s another one from this morning:

I went with a couple of friends into a cave to meet up with Satan. One of the guys had seen Satan before and was completely stoked. His ultimate goal was to be Satan’s boyfriend. They’ve obviously played before, and Satan seemed pretty happy that he came back.

Satan sat across from us, about 100 feet away, and began an incantation. My friend was flat on his back in an orgasmic trance that crescendoed into a climax. The climax was quite startling and had me and my other friend intrigued.

But it wasn’t going to be easy.

Satan looked at my other friend, sneered and launched a throwing knife right in his gut. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t think it would come to this. Satan also launched a knife at me, but I batted it away harmlessly which seemed to make Satan mad.

He brandished a crossbow loaded with about 15 arrows, aimed it at me and said that I had to pay. I curled up covering my face with my hands thinking and wishing that none of the arrows hit my face. Just as Satan released the arrows, I eased up knowing it was inevitable I was going to get shot and be in a lot of pain. As my hands left my face all 15 arrows pierced by hands, 9 in my left and 6 in my right.

I sat there stunned. I have arrows sticking in me. There was blood dripping from my hands.

I heard Satan laughing, not the evil laugh that you think of, but just a satisfied and amused laugh. And that annoyed me. This was clearly some form of initiation and hazing which I think is just plain stupid.

So I got up and walked away, the arrows still in my hands. It took a while before I reached civilization, and once I did I sat down and carefully started removing the arrows. Friends came up and asked me what the hell happened. I didn’t respond. I was busy concentrating on removing the arrows without leaving any splinters in my hand.

I woke up and had to pee.